Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: Day 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?
Real safety is your willingness to not run away from yourself. ~Pema Chodron
To let go.
To let go of fighting against.
To let go of how I think things should be.
To let go of my need to control others with whom I am in relationship with.
To let go of trying to always figure things out with my crazy-making mind.
To let go of the insane way I am so hard on myself.
To let go of trying to evade the only one who is here. Me.
So here I am with me. Just me.
For a while, now, I have sat with the discomfort of being with me. All the pieces of me I didn’t want to see showed up. I invited them in. They weren’t the best companions. It took all I could do to not run away from those parts of me I had tried to hide away. As we become better roommates, new ones show up, ones that have been down in the deepest recesses of the shadow.
And, when I let go, something quiet, yet strong, was there. All along it had been holding me, just waiting until I let go and turned to look within.
This quiet, compassionate presence is always here. When I turn to look within, it is all that is there. It is the only safety there is.