My Unsung Heros: Men Who Respect Women


Best of 2009 Blog Challenge: Day 20: New person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?


The answer to this question is so clear. My unsung hero(s) for 2009 are men who respect women, value women and know that women have much to offer that is not being utilized because women are still oppressed. Yes, even here in the US, women are still oppressed. So much of the shadow aspects of our culture are still projected onto women. This post, though, is not to speak to this oppression, but rather to celebrate men who deeply desire to see women empowered.

In 2009, I began to receive emails and facebook messages from men who have discovered my writing, see that I work with women to wake them up to their wild creative nature, and want to share with me how much they love strong women. They wonder how my work is going, because they long to see women step into their power and share leadership with men, not only here in the US, but all over the world.

These men have written to express their sadness at the treatment of women. They write about their frustration with laws that punish women who are victims of men’s transgressions. This excerpt comes from one such letter:

“My opinions on the treatment of women have some loose origins, and are derived from numerous sources, not least of which are my own male frame of reference, and general observations over the years. Frankly, I love intelligent women.  I much prefer their company and conversation to men.  They are a fascinating creature and I have always thought a woman’s perspective on most matters is more thoughtful and reasonable than men.  There is a distinct spark and vitality in women that men lack. Women are altogether interesting and have a far more illuminating take on the human spirit than men; generally speaking.

…The subjugation of women in [this scheme] has mixed motives.  In many tenets the origins are to protect women and children.  Men write the laws, and men know what men do – the strict Islamic laws and western church sensibilities are a direct response to the sexual weakness of men – who desire what they see in a woman.  Rather than put the onus on the man to manage and control his urges, we subjugate women with rules for their behavior. 40 lashes for wearing a pants suit.  Stoning for being raped.  It’s all ludicrous and so very stone age.  Its depressing really.  For all our progress in civilization, the progress of equality for the woman is painfully slow.

We are missing out on the great wisdom and nurturing characteristics of women in leadership in the world.  I am certain that letting a woman lead would circumvent much of the evil in the world.”

On various sites where women’s issues are raised, especially sites working to raise women’s consciousness, there have been recent references to, and quotes from, men who have stepped forward to apologize for how women have been, and continue to be, treated throughout the world. Reading these heartfelt apologies brings me to tears. To know there are men who see through their conditioning so clearly and are willing to take responsibility for their gender’s ongoing subjugation of women brings hope that someday soon there will be an end to the worldwide mistreatment of women and children.

I know this is not about men vs. women. There are many women who are against equal rights for women, while there are many men working to bring about gender equality and healing.

I thank Gwen Bell and her challenge for prompting me to sit and consider more deeply how much these men have inspired me to commit completely to my work. And, I want to, again, thank all the men who are my unsung heroes. I look forward to knowing more of you in 2010.


This post is part of Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge
Day 20 New person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

Blog Widget by LinkWithin

2 Replies to “My Unsung Heros: Men Who Respect Women”

  1. oh, julie, thank you for this. i raised my son to be one of these men. it’s nice – and it’s necessary – to be reminded that there are men like this out there. men who are comfortable enough in their own skin that they don’t fear strong, creative, feminine women. men who do not need to resort to the ole’ conquer mode to elevate themselves. good post.

  2. Brava, Julie. I see “struggle” in the VS aspect of gender issues or any issues, actually – when we are for or against each other it doesn’t leave much room to simply be with one another or truly hear one another.

    I prefer coming alongside humans of either gender as an illustration of women AND men, men AND women, human AND human… feminine AND masculine. I used to have so many “issues” with men until I not only understood this concept but integrated it into my every day life as well.

    Thank you, again, for writing with such heart, so much soul, so much you-ness.

Comments are closed.