Reverb10 Day 29
Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
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I had a couple of very strong realizations just a few weeks ago that have shifted how I see myself and my work in the world.
The End of a Chapter
I am done with a period in my life that’s been very internal.
Since 2002, I’ve been engaged with learning my new line of work: that as coach, teacher and writer. I spent many years as a systems analyst for a financial institution. Then I went back to school. I studied many things, and focused on designing experiences, mostly of the interactive digital kind.
When I left school, I knew that what I had just been educated to do, was not my calling. In other words, the tools I gained are directly useful in my new work, but being an interaction designer was not how I was to share my gift.
I spent some time after school grieving a lot of things I hadn’t yet grieved. Like dirty dishes, grief doesn’t go away on its own. It wants to be invited in to sit a spell until it has been fully integrated.
Then, I began to train in my new chosen field: that of teacher of creativity and personal coaching. I wanted to really know the coaching profession, to become well qualified to do this work. When people entrusted me to walk with them as they turned to look within, to unearth their deepest longings and to move through the painful ways they keep themselves stuck, I wanted to be able to be of service to the unfolding of their true self and the gift they are here to give. Fully. I’ve followed this desire as it took me through years of training and education and my own deep work.
Suddenly, after a great deal of training this year, I could feel that I am done. I know my work.
And, I am done with a more internal focus. It had not yet felt right to be moving into the world in a more visible way. And now it does.
The moment when I came to see this was so clear.
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There is No Separation
I am a very lucky woman to have two daughters and three grandchildren, with one more on the way. As I was working to deepen my coaching and teaching abilities, I kept feeling pulled between my personal and professional worlds.
I am blessed to have both my daughters and their families close by. Completely blessed. And, I am the one grandparent here, which means much of the grandparent duties fall on me. I’ve loved this and I’ve felt torn between these two parts of my life.
In another moment of clear seeing, I finally could see, in a very real and palpable way, that these are not two separate things, but rather than one infuses the other. My work with women is enriched by my deep love for my children and grandchildren, and the time I spend with them informs my work. My work with women enriches my time with my children and grandchildren.
And, finally, my writing has been infused with much wisdom I have gained from my experiences with my family.
Of course they are all intertwined. How could I not have seen this? Sometimes these insights are so simple, yet so very profound.
Now, I feel integrated and ready for what life has in store for me, for where life will call me to go, for who life wants me to be with.
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There is a truth at the heart of the way life moves. As Kahlil Gibran wrote:
‎“Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only before the truth.” ~ Khalil Gibran
This is my life in all its intricate complexity; yet at the heart of it, it’s all quite simple.
I used to think there was a way life should look and that I would see that way out there, reflected back to me through how the culture shows it.
These two realizations in these past weeks have deepened my faith in my own aibility to trust when to shift, when to move and where to flow to next. Somehwere inside, I knew it wasn’t yet time; and now it is time and life is showing me the way.
Life asks us to flow with it, to follow its lead, to trust in life’s nature.
Everything that has happened in my life has been rich fodder for this gift I’m to give. Nothing was for naught. Everything has informed.
Nothing is wasted, everything is in order, and it’s all sacred.
“There is a truth at the heart of the way life moves.” I think I just had an a-ha moment. I’ve felt that way many times, knowing I should trust where my life is moving and the flow of it that’s being watched over and helped, when asked, by the Divine. I know the choices are all mine. The general direction I’m going is hopefully leading to a fulfilling place. I’m a fellow Reverber just checking out my neighbors and getting plenty of inspiration in the process!
Patti,
It’s wonderful to meet you. Yay for a-ha moments, eh?
I look forward to knowing you better.
Blessings,
Julie
what blessed insights and clarity at the turn of the year!
Nothing is wasted, everything is in order, and it’s all sacred, this is deep wisdom to remember…
Reading your words, I heard the clear voice of the crone.
thank you..
Filiz,
Thank you for your comment. Yes, the Crone is speaking through us all. She offers wisdom and fierce love.
Blessings to you,
Julie
i’ve long believed that there are no coincidences, that everything happens for a reason – at least i’ve said that for a long, long time. which, of course, is not the same as believing it, and believing it is not the same as knowing it. knowing it is embodying it, and i do know it in that way of knowing, but sometimes i slip and get caught up in the old ways. the ways of being a pawn that somebody else moves around on the board. the ways of hushing my self to default to others who are obviously authorities. the ways of using my voice – my one true voice – only in private conversations with a few trusted friends while using a public voice that others will find pleasing and non-threatening. thank you for this reminder. it couldn’t have come at a better time or been stated more eloquently.
Jeanne,
it’s time for that one true voice to be heard. i’m walking right with you.
Love,
Julie
This is a really lovely, amazing post.
Thank you, Amanda. Many blessings.
Lovely. Every moment is defining. Every moment is sacred.
Beth,
It’s lovely to have you visit and leave your wisdom here.
Julie, you are, yourself, such a blessing.
You were one of the first people when I began venturing into this twitterrealm, to explicitly reach out to me and welcome me. The power of your writing regularly moves me to tears. I see the power of your love ripple out, bringing awareness of how everything is sacred, bringing people into their own sacred being, each a little more, healing the wounds that divide us from ourselves, from each other, from this sacred world we live in.
And now you say we ain’t seen nothin’ yet?
Your every footfall, as you bring yourself and your capital-W Work out into the world, will be shepherded by blessing. What a blessing to me, that I’ll be watching and celebrating your steps and your accomplishments.
Thank you for who and what you are.
I was just telling my partner about you and the other people on twitter that are speaking directly to my heart. You are speaking a language I yearn for, I seek out, I need. Thank you.
Thank you, Liz. I’m glad you stop by. I hope to continue to speak to your heart.
“Nothing was for naught. Everything has informed.”
This is just exactly how I am seeing when I look at what is my collective experience up to now. But not that long ago I was doing the regret thing: Wondering about how it might be so much better now had I been able to make choices back then based on what I know now. That would be a nice trick, right?
But, nooooo. Now I’m seeing “Nothing was for naught. Everything has informed.” It gives me faith in the notion that we have come in with a purpose and it would take a real lot to prevent it from coming to pass. It seems so round-about, the getting-on-with-it-already, but “Nothing was for naught. Everything has informed.” I’m grateful for every bit of it.
Thanks for saying it so well, Julie!
🙂
Jeanne
PS I am just back from two weeks of silent retreat. Nice post to ease me back into the… world 🙂
Dear Julie, Thank you for your sharing and the writing which resonates within me. As women, we are often pulled from within and without. I want to honor how I feel called to serve and yet there is a focus on others, family, friends and it can be challenging to hold it all with such grace and honesty. This is one of 365 daily meditations from my book, BLESSINGS FROM MARY, inspired by Mary Magdalene and born out of my own daily prayer and meditation practice. I am grateful to be reminded of this for myself today.
Blessings to you, Sally
February 2nd
When the pulls from outside feel overwhelming, go within to find your focus.
Wisdom of Mary Magdalene
My focus seems ever changing. Should I buy property here, build a home in Colorado, move permanently to Africa to be with my husband? I am tired of so many options and choices. I want to know where to put my energy now. Mary and my guides say,
“Your focus belongs within. Within is always the answer. From within you look outward and the actions will be clear. Look inside and dwell here. In time, all you need and want will be provided.
This time is of the Divine and so when frustration and impatience occur, go within. When anger and restlessness show up, come within. When doubt and confusion are present, go within.
We will guide your actions according to Divine timing and in right timing you will be given the courage and power to carry through with the actions.
The answer is within.â€