first day of spring – unabashedly female

Today…

is the vernal equinox. And, today there’s aÂ new moonÂ and aÂ solar eclipse. (The eclipse was visible somewhere else on the planet and I was fast asleep!)

Who knows what this all means. What I do know is that my body has been guiding me to remember what I once knew. Cycles. Rhythms. Flow.

My mind is softening into my body, into my heart. What used to seem strange now feels natural and even welcoming.

I am reweaving back into life’s tapestry of worlds, back into layers of the unseen and unknowable, into bedrock and sandstone, moon and stars, and glacial changes beyond what I can possibly comprehend.

One of my favorite Beatle’s songs was ‘Let It Be’, and the lyrics have been rumbling around inside. Just let it all be as it is – because all of my pushing against isn’t really doing anything anyway.

I see that now.

I am softening, tenderizing, choosing to no longer live a life of trying to understand. And in this softening, I notice I am happier, and at the same time getting more accomplished while being more available for others.

I guess that is life. When I let it be, life can do what it longs to do through me.

Of course.

I am learning.

in aÂ woman’s body

i slide one foot in and then the other
and slowly my whole body gives way to gravity.
like a mother cat’s tongue
the water begins to clean
lifetimes of forgetfulness from my being.
my breath slows as darkness crumbles onto the blue-tiled floor.
my eyes grow soft as
years of tears and fears melt under the dark night sky.
i begin to remember how
without skin,
without flesh and bones,
i lived as light.
my cells soak in this remembering and
i soften, yet again,
into the water’s embrace.
no more rigid ways of forcing myself
to remember what i’ve always known.
no more straight-backed hours
on a cushion,
tightly-fastened rules wrapped around my flesh.
i am this soft light,
this love that knows,
this pearlescent radiance in a woman’s body.

#writingraw

â€œThose who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength
that will endure as long as life lasts.Â There is something infinitely healing
in the repeated refrainsÂ of nature — the assurance that dawn comes
after night, and spring after winter.â€Â ~Rachel Carson

Happy first day of Spring.

As I write these words, the birdsong is especially loud outside my living room windows. Sometimes, I write seated on my living room sofa, so I can see look out onto the church garden directly across the street. There are at least a dozen three or four-year olds running around the garden shrieking with delight. So much joy!

Spring has its own particular feeling. It is a time of coming out, blossoming, and growing. We begin to come out into the world, out from our hibernation and into connection and growth.

The natural world calls to me. It soothes me. It enlivens me. It reminds me of what I am.

We are living in a time of deep transformation and the chaos and turbulence that transformation holds. I feel this in my body.

And, as I’ve learned from dancing chaos, if we surrender to it, if we receive what it offers, we are transformed and we release that which no longer serves. The old dies and the new is born.

Our healing lies in our remembrance of our relationship with nature. We are nature. We are not separate from it. And in this remembrance, our relationship with the earth is reawakened and enlivened.

I have become much, much more aware of how much I am given and how little I appreciate it. I can see how much I want, and how little I offer in return.

What does it mean to really live with gratitude for this life? How do we live when we live gratitude?

Look closely at the earth – she is teeming with life. Smell her fragrance. Walk with conscious feet. Maybe even go barefoot! Notice how when your feet kiss the earth, the earth kisses your feet. Touch her in many places, with wonder. Taste the succulence she offers.

Remember the wonder for the earth that you knew when you were a child. If you can’t remember, ask a child to reacquaint you.

It is through her, the earth, that we can finally come to know we belong here, that we are a part of her, a part of each other. Every choice we make impacts the well being of all of life on this precious planet.

My footprint has an impact, has consequences. How awake can my feet be? How much love can they show?

How will my feet dance on the earth’s skin when they offer, to her, what words cannot say?

Tag: first day of spring

In a Woman’s Body

Today…

in aÂ woman’s body

Dancing On the Earth’s Skin