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Living Gratefully

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There are many things to be grateful “for” but, as I ripen with the seasons of life, the many reasons blend into a sacred mystery. And, most deeply, I realize that living gratefully is its own blessing. ~ Michael Mahoney

Thanksgiving is such a beautiful holiday. It seems as though it brings out something profoundly human in us – the ability, and opportunity, to reflect on our lives and realize what we have been blessed with. I know in my own life, though, many times it has been much easier to be grateful when things are going well, when it feels like Life has my back.

This past Thursday on Thanksgiving, I was reflecting on what and who is no longer in my life – my late-husband, who died almost 15 years ago; my mother, who died last year; my grandparents who have all passed on; and many other things too personal to mention here. I used to lament these losses. I couldn’t quite separate out my grief from the victim story. As I became more aware of how this lamentation was holding me back from being fully engaged with life, I began to see that grief, if allowed to flow unimpeded, is a naturally intelligent process – one that will bring you out the other side if you learn to trust, and allow, its unpredictable flow.

To move past the victim story, I had to see all that I had been given, for the time I had been granted. I had to see that things come and things go; that people come and people go. The times of suffering in my life came when I attempted to hang on to what was no longer here.

Learning to trust in the mystery of grief is no different than learning to trust in the good times that come just as unpredictably. It’s all unpredictable – that’s the mystery that is at the core of this beautiful blessing that is life. Life ripens us, if we allow ourselves to feast on the entire banquet it serves.

I suppose it is this ripening that happens through the seasons of life that allows greater trust in the mystery that is life at its core.  Something profoundly beautiful happens when I drop the reasons for being grateful and just live gratitude.

A few years ago, 2005 to be exact, I wrote an article on Giving Gratitude Forward. The article began like this:

If you think gratitude doesn’t have a thing to do with creativity, you’re probably not alone. Many believe gratitude is something we have for what has already happened. Gratitude and appreciation almost always is focused on the past.

Many times we aren’t present, in the moment, to what we are receiving to be grateful for it as it comes. But even more often, we don’t think of, feel, or express gratitude for what is to come in the future. How can we be grateful for what hasn’t even happened yet? Who knows how good (or bad) it really might be? I mean, how can we be grateful for something if we don’t yet know we are happy it has happened. Sounds sort of like a Zen Koan…confusing and confounding…but it’s not.

When you naturally feel and express deep gratitude for all of life and its inherent intelligence and abundance, you are opening your heart and soul to this creative force. You remember you are in the flow of life and touch in again with all that supports you. This flow is there all the time, even when you don’t remember. It is a grateful, open heart that re-opens and re-connects you to this creative flow.

When you start with deep true gratitude for what is, you connect your own creative nature to that of everything around you. Acknowledging that there is a deeper intelligence and that it is at work in every moment, invites in the infinite possibilities inherent in each moment. read more


Over the past five years since I wrote this piece, life has presented some profoundly transformational gifts – my mother’s long, protracted illness and the stark reality of the painful death she experienced; the birth of my new granddaughter on my mother’s birthday, six weeks after Mom passed; the birth of my grandson eight months later; the births of my great-nieces and great-nephew; and a beautiful new relationship in my life. Birth, Death and Re-birth, all rolled up into one beautiful flow of life that has gifted me the opportunity to see my place in the flow of life.

But here is another transformational gift life has presented, and this is a big one: the growing realization that life on Earth as we know it, is in the process of a deep and radical change. It is easy to stay in a place of denial that all will be well, that someone, somewhere, will take care of things, will make things better, will save the day, will save the myriad expressions of nature from becoming extinct, will feed the children, will stop the horrific things being perpetrated upon women, children, the earth, and, yes, men.

Living gratefully for its own sake is humbling, for it is in this living that I know beyond a doubt that I have absolutely no control over all that I thought I had.

Living gratefully is also enlightening, because I know that it is in the chaos of the mystery that transformation can happen. If we are honest with ourselves, we know that we don’t know how things will turn out, either in our own lives, or for all of life here on earth.

Most importantly as I wrote in my article of 2005, living gratefully brings us to awareness of our personal internal creative resource, and communion with, the creativity inherent in life itself. This is key because knowing we, and all other human beings, are naturally creative, in fact wildly creative, can move us from denial into collaborative conscious action, action that comes from the deeper intelligence that is our creativity.

I feel living gratefully for all that we have had, and have been blessed with, is key to realizing that we have to wake up and become conscious with what is unfolding before our eyes, to where things are and to what is wanting to be born. Beyond anything else, for the sake of my children and grandchildren, and for the sake of all children, the earth and all of life, I want us human beings to work it out – to really get it that we have screwed things up, to begin to listen to how we can change our ways and walk in the ways of humility and compassion, and to begin to live the wild creativity that we have been blessed with.

Living gratefully is living with the immediate awareness that all we can ever know and experience is a bigger gift than we can ever understand with our minds.

As I wrote five years back, “Acknowledging that there is a deeper intelligence and that it is at work in every moment, invites in the infinite possibilities inherent in each moment.”

What if we were to look forward to the mystery of the future with vibrantly alive gratitude for whatever comes, knowing that it is this deeper intelligence at work in each moment? We then might recognize a new way of life for human beings, in harmony with the rest of life, that is being offered up. We might then see that the mystery knows something we cannot – until it is time for us to know it.

We might even remember along the way, no matter what life brings, that Life, itself, is the gift.

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Embodiment: Lighting the Temple From Within

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Embodiment.

How we fear the descent into the depths of our own bodies.

We’ve been well trained to fear our flesh. All the lies we have been told about our bodies, and most especially our female bodies, rise up to face us when we decidedly choose to descend into our totally human, yet utterly divine, bodies. But, the descent is the most necessary thing we must do to become completely alive. Awareness from the shoulders up is like living powered by a 15-watt light bulb. It makes life dim and makes it hard to really experience the fullness of the world we live in.

This past weekend, I decidedly dove deeper into my divine female body. I traveled to Oak Park, Illinois, for the fourth realm of the Institute for Sacred Activism’s (ISA) series of trainings. ISA was established by Andrew Harvey, the renowned scholar and author, and Jill Angelo. This realm was all about embodiment. We were treated to Heart Yoga, a new yoga practice developed by Andrew and Karuna Erickson.

This new work, presented by Karuna and Andrew, was profoundly transformational in how it opened the heart through the gentle yoga moves and beautiful poetry of the masters, such as Rumi, Mirabai and Hafez. As I moved slowly through these Heart Yoga postures, glimmerings of light began to make their presence known from deep within my heart. The experience had a very ephemeral quality to it, a quality that contrasted starkly with the seemingly solid nature of my body. I was aware of the gentleness of the moves and how this gentle nature invited the heart to open, rather than pushing anything to happen.

Sometimes things in life seem so static and solid. So fixed and unmovable. So unrelenting. I know I have concretized so much of life, especially the places I fear – like the body – like my body. And, I’ve done a lot of embodiment work – and I still know there are many nooks and crannies where I harbor feelings of shame and dislike towards this most amazing temple that houses my soul.

Which leads me to another thing about Oak Park. This beautiful Mid-western town just outside Chicago, is the home of many of Frank Lloyd Wright’s architectural beauties, including his masterpiece, the Unity Temple.

Yesterday, the Monday morning after our long weekend filled with work with the body, I took a last walk through town, making sure to make it to Wright’s Unity Temple, as I hadn’t yet seen this famous iconic work. I am a huge fan of Wright, having studied his work at length in my year-long foray into the study of architecture.

When I came upon it, I was transfixed by the totality of concrete Wright used in the temple.

Wright's Unity Temple

So much concrete.

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Such small windows.

In my life, when days feel difficult and I feel stuck and find myself thrashing around trying to make sense of the world and what’s happening in it, I tend to think of my body as this solid form, much like the concrete walls of Wright’s temple. Sometimes, I even feel like I have these tiny openings to the world, so small that only a little bit of my light shines out (and, conversely, only a little of the world’s light gets in.

In gazing at Wright’s Unity Temple, I wondered why he would have created such think, heavy walls, and I suddenly sensed this analogy between the human body, and its gross layers of tissue, bone, muscle and blood, and the more ephemeral quality of the subtle body within, made up of energy and life force, and the ephemeral quality of the heart. I don’t know what Wright was thinking, but the correlation between his design and my embodiment work of the weekend was profound.

The church as temple – the body as temple. Gross layers of seemingly heavy and solid matter that, from the outside, look like a fortress within which darkness prevails.

We humans tend to concretize our bodies, meaning we believe ourselves to be solid and simply bodies, when in reality, according to quantum physics, our bodies are really billions of cells, that contain mostly space.  When we concretize our bodies, we see them as objects. We can’t be in them, meaning we pretty much live with awareness down to about our necks. In a concretized body, there is no fluidity, no sense of the life force within and no connection to all that lies outside of it.

In the Heart Yoga, we were tenderly led through a series of poses and instructions to awaken all the cells of our body to the light that is within, to fill the cells with this heart light that is sourced from the sun.  The light is without, and the light can fill all that which lies within.

As I stood outside the church, imagining what the interior space was like to inhabit, I remembered having the same experience as I envisioned the light from the sun filling the cells of my body. Somehow, as I envisioned the light filling my body, I had begun to experience my body, not as a bunch of bones, muscles, and blood, but rather as a billion cells dancing with light and life force. Now, seeing the temple and imagining it filled with light from the sun, and light within, I wondered about the temple itself, not as defined by the concrete walls, but rather defined by the space within it, by the light and life that makes up the intereior of the temple.

Then, as if by divine magic, I walked past a sign indicating that the temple was open for tours. And, on this sign was a quote by Wright that seemed to align with what I had experienced:

“The reality of the building is the space within.”
“The reality of the building is the space within.”

Is this the reality of the body when we open to it as a temple of our divine nature? Is the reality of the body the space within? I suppose in everyday life, as we walk down the street passing each other, we only see the concrete walls of each other’s bodies, with small bits of light emanating from within, usually through the twinkle of an eye, or the flash of a smile. And, in our own experience, we only sense small amounts of light, if any at all, of our true nature.

Do the walls of our bodies, simply help us to know that another unique being lives within? What if we were to shift our perspective and see the body, not as the exterior characteristics available to the eye, but instead to the space within, to the vibrant creative life-force that infuses it with creativity, with love and with compassion?

Is the reality of our building, our human body, simply the materials we have been taught to believe it is, or are we really something more, that space within the body, and within the cells of our body?

Marion Woodman speaks of the goddess as the luminous, ephemeral nature of the light filling the earthly cells of the body.  In other words, the goddess is not something that we take on, another role we play, where we wear flowing gowns and flowers in our hair. It is the awakening in the cells of matter, the billions of cells in the body, to the light of the source from which all life comes. When we open ourselves to the light that is the love and compassion that emanates from our own radiant hearts, that light floods all parts of our bodies and is the experience of our divine, sacred nature merging with our immanent earthly body.

This is the transformation of consciousness that we must make if we are to awaken to the sacred nature of earth and all that lives here. When we know that all of life is the goddess, the sacredness that we yearn to know, then we’ll realize it is within us and is without in the entirety of the world around us.

On Wright’s Unity Temple, above the entrance door, the following is inscribed:

“For the worship of God.”

For the Worship of God

And, is this body, this profane human body that takes so much abuse and punishment, so much self-hatred, and so many centuries of criticism from culture, religion and society, really for the worship of God? Are we here, in these bodies, to experience life on earth in its entirety, with hearts that are open and embracing of the simplest moments?

If we look out the eyes of our own body, onto the world around us, what if we were to gaze with eyes that know the divine spark within? What if, as light-filled beings we could see that light in everything around us, realizing that our temple is not simply a place of worship, but also a place where we gaze onto life with eyes of love?

In the past, we have separated out a house of worship from the profane space around it. That has led to the belief that everything outside of the temple is profane. But not all peoples have believed this. Indigenous cultures have worshiped life itself, the sky, the earth, all living creatures, and the four elements that make up our world.

As I contemplate this understanding that came from my experience this weekend, I know what I have understood for some time now, but in a deeper way. The human body is built for the worship of God, not the God that sits on high and judges, but the God that is the light, is the heart, is the ephemeral love that resides in every atom that comprises life.

It is only by way of this divinely human body that we can experience the multitude of blessings that life brings. It is through this doorway to life that we taste, hear, touch, see, and smell life. It is through this body that we become fully aware of the sacred nature of all of life.

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Embrace Your Wild Creativity

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“Men and women both have a role to play in these times. Feminine wisdom holds many answers, and we have a responsibility to acknowledge its presence, and allow it to emerge as a force in the world. And women have a particular responsibility in this process. Women’s spiritual consciousness, which holds the secret of how spirit and matter come together to create new life, is needed for the mystical process that is taking place within the whole. In order to serve the needs of this new era, women must really live who they are without hesitation, and leave behind patterns of insecurity, dependency, and fear that have inhibited them from expressing what they know is real. Men can serve by developing their own feminine nature, and also by supporting and protecting women as they accept their responsibilities during these changing times.” ~Hilary Hart

Women’s Wild Creativity is: the source of Life, one’s creativity, flowing through a vibrantly alive, instinctive, and radiant female body.

I started Wildly Creative Women six years ago, after a life-changing, consciousness-shifting experience of my own wild creativity. During a mess painting episode, something broke open within me. It brought awareness and light into every cell of my body. In the tender, joy-infused moments of this experience, I saw clearly that women’s creativity is different than men’s. While the source is the same, the vehicle which we use to express it is wholly, and holy, different.

Women have the deep creativity that allows for Spirit to marry with matter, to bring life forth into life. Whether or not she gives birth to children, this capacity, this consciousness exists within each and every woman. It is only a matter of awakening it, and right now, in these times, we are blessed with Life’s deepest desire for us all to awaken.

Men, too, have a role in all of this. As Hart so eloquently states, men must embrace their own feminine nature within, and protect women so that they can step into their new place of autonomy and new-found sense of responsibility to the whole. What greater gift can we give to each other as men and women than to fully awaken to, and realize, the gifts Life has bestowed upon us. We each have a place of service to the whole in this new world that is unfolding before our eyes.

What we are now faced with is the very real necessity, and beautiful opportunity, to bow down in true honor and respect to each other as women and men. In order to come into balance in this way, we need to come into balance within our own beings…and we need to honor each other’s personal power as human beings, knowing that this personal power within each human being is the sacred life force that feeds and nourishes us all.

Each of us can ask ourselves, where do I give my power away, and what do I give it away for? Is it for love? Is it for safety and security? Is it to keep myself playing small in a world that doesn’t seem to be comfortable with my power? AND, we can ask ourselves, where do I take away another’s power? Where do I gladly help another play small, so that I can feel superior?

There is no shortage of love, unless we choose to see scarcity. Love, compassion, passion and creativity all flow from your life force, your inner resource that is your personal power.

In very real concrete terms, women’s power is continually taken away by a culture that does not value the true beauty of women; by a culture that does not value women’s bodies; by a culture that does not ensure that its children are well cared for because it continues to make the day-to-day realities of life so difficult for these childrens’ mothers.

Embracing your wild creativity means you begin to open to your personal power, to that vibrancy that is your life force, while marrying it with the instintive nature that your body gifts you with. Feel this force within you. Honor it, acknowledge it, and bring it out into this world that is thirsting for this sacred nature within you.

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Equality Now

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Equality Now

Joss Whedon on Equality:

“It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity, we need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and women who’s confronted with it. We need equality, kinda now.”

I came across this video today and was completely struck by Joss’ message. It is succinct and clear: we human beings are not naturally misogynistic. It’s not our way to hate and fear women. It is cultural conditioning at its worst.

While this video is a few years old (2006), but it is just as timely…perhaps even more, considering the election events in Iran and how women were treated, the tragic gang rape in Richmond, California, and a host of current day events that continue to reflect back to the human race just how misogynistic we have been taught to be.

When will we realize that peace will only come on our planet when there is peace and deep honoring and respect between women and men? What will it take for this shift to happen? What do we need to see within our own behavior in order to create peace within, so there can be peace all over?

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Marrying Pattern and Matter in the Matrix

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I was watching PopTech online this morning, and lo and behold there was a talk about creativity that perked up my female ears and heart. I had never heard of PopTech (hard to imagine as a woman with a tech/design/creativity degree). This morning though, I came across mention of PopTech from @PatriciaMartin on Twitter. While she mentioned she couldn’t be there because she is packing to move, I thought I would log on.

I watched a talk by Kyna Leski from RISD. She was speaking about creativity. This is my love in life, and my work here in the world through Creative Wellspring and Wildly Creative Women. Creativity is the Spirit within you, your true nature.

Kyna explained that matrix (derived from the word for mother, and later used to refer to womb) is where pattern and material are married. She then went on to say that pattern (derived from the word for father) and material (derived from the word for Mother) are married in the womb in the creative process.

We all are creative beings. All people are creative. When I teach my ten-week course (in courses for women and men, and also for women only) I love the moment when students experience their creativity, when they really ‘get’ that they are creative beings. It’s like seeing each one remember, in the moment, their true nature and true potential.

We all live our creative process, this marrying of pattern to matter in the matrix, many, many moments in each day of our lives. And, in my work with women, and in my own life, I know that women are created with a womb that brings forth life, brings life into being, brings the mystery into manifestation. Yes, we have a physical womb, but more importantly we embody the creative capacity of the divine feminine. As Rumi said, “Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved. She is the Creator —you could say that she is not created.“ We can create babies, and we can create so much more. We are mothers to life.

Men, too, are just as creative. The source of creativity is non-gendered. The source is life re-creating itself in its never ending unfolding – Shiva and the cycle of creation and destruction. I am divinely curious about how our design as women and as men is naturally intelligent, and what it would be like and look like if we, both men and women, began to trust and have faith in our deepest creative potential, that expression that flows through our gendered body.

This marrying of the mother and the father takes place within us, and in this marriage we bring forth our deepest creative capacity, a new consciousness and intelligence far greater than what any one of us can try to ‘think’ into creation.

It is my deepest hope that if we, as women, can own our divine feminine creative capacity, that men can then relax into their own natural creative nature, and we can, side-by-side, walk into a future that allows for our unique humanity to flower.

So, I know my opportunity is to no longer attempt to exist in the image of the masculine, which is defined by all the ways I was taught to be in the world. The opportunity is to open to being fully female, to honor and trust my own creative process, my design as woman. I don’t yet know how this will evolve. How can I? But, I can trust in this design, trusting in the deeper intelligence that life is. I welcome this marriage of pattern and mattter within me. And, something that is just as exciting, I get to trust in man’s design. I look forward to discovering what shows up between us.

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Feminism – A Whole New Look

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image source: memphis connect.com
image source: memphis connect.com

After receiving the National Civil Rights Museum’s “International Freedom Award,” His Holiness the Dalai Lama said to the audience:

“I call myself a feminist,” … “Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?”

“Whether you believe this religion or that religion, we are all the same human beings,” …“We all come from the same mother. That creates the basis for compassion.”

via: MemphisFlyer.com and FeministLawProfessors

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The Sweet Spots of Life

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Last Saturday night, my dear friend Megan hosted her second annual Fig Gig. In Megan’s backyard is the most beautiful, gnarly, fecund fig tree. The figs are a deep purple color, and when you pick them right off the tree, biting into one is like biting into the most divine jam. They are visually glorious, all fleshy, soft, moist and red inside.

Megan also hired a Kora player; the Kora is an instrument from Africa with 12 strings. The woman who played was incredibly gifted and vibrantly funny. Her voice was beautiful and lyrical, and the sound of her music created the most luscious background to the evening.

At one point, Megan greeted her guests and invited us to take a moment to celebrate and give thanks to the Mother, the Earth and all that she provides for us. We celebrated the Fig tree as a symbol of this abundance and nourishment…and as a symbol of the feminine.

As we sat in this moment, my heart became so full. This moment was one of those sweet spots in life, a moment where my attention was given to the beauty available in every moment. In fact, it became so full, I felt as if my heart couldn’t hold any more – that it would burst if I allowed in one more drop of beauty.

This life is beautiful. In the moments, like the Fig Gig, when we are enjoying the party, life feels good. But, I have come to see that we can fully appreciate these moments when we also see the beauty in the not-so-great moments of turmoil, pain and grief. Opening my heart deeply to the painful moments of my life, and the painful times we are in, has also allowed me to feel the beauty more deeply of all the moments of life.

I have come to know that in these painful moments, and in the happy moments as well, that the heart can hold much more than our minds believe it can. When it feels like the heart is breaking, it’s not the heart breaking, but rather the chains that bind it…those places where we have closed ourselves off to feeling, for fear we won’t be able to handle it.

We are in interesting times. I realize now, even more clearly, that to taste the sweetness of life, we must open ourselves to the beauty that is available here, right now. We can no longer afford to close our eyes to the places that feel hard or painful, fearing them. There is beauty in them as well, for when we make ourselves available to the full range of feeling, we become vividly alive within our own hearts. We can feel deeply, the full range of emotions, and that in itself is beautiful. When we open to the dark places as well, we are available to respond to those dark places, both out there, and within ourselves.

When I worked with women who had lost their spouses and lovers in 9/11, in our dating/relationship class, we worked to open the heart, to allow the range of feelings in that one feels in deep grief. In allowing the bindings to loosen, so that grief can do it’s work, one can begin to taste again the fullness of life.

As I enjoyed the fullness of beauty of this very special evening, I realized my heart was so full, because I have allowed in the deeply painful moments in my life. In opening my heart to the places that scare me, the chains that bind it are breaking down. And in this fullness, I can begin to feel the fullness of my humanity and taste the sweetness of an open heart.

I’m curious about you. Do you allow the sweet moments of life in? Do you fully receive the bounty that life offers? Do you shy away from those painful emotions? How might your sweet spots of life taste?

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Both/And | Yes/And

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IMG_6728I’ve noticed a curious thing as I inquire more deeply into the awakening Feminine. There seem to be two (at least) threads of conversation around the Feminine: awakening feminine consciousness in both women and men, and finding balance within our own beings between our masculine and feminine aspects; and, women awakening to their own unconditioned, organic way of being, and the natural power that comes from this energy becoming conscious. Unabashedly Female is a place to converse about the latter, to discover together what is coming into consciousness solely through women.

Most of the time, I read about the former, feminine qualities that both women and men are finding again, such as receptivity, collaboration, relationship and a host of others. When this is the conversation, women and men are included together because these aspects are part of coming to wholeness in every being.

Many times when I speak (or write) of the latter, as in this blog, I ‘hear’ people being in the either/or mindset, a mindset that comes from the culture we are swimming win, one based on a patriarchal perspective. Ubiquitous in this perspective is the notion that things are either/or: that one is either for or against; that either something is true or it is not true; that if I speak of one thing, then I am negating its opposite. This either/or perspective shows up often when I write about women and re-discovering our own nature, that of the sacred feminine. It’s as if our conditioning as women tells us we can’t or shouldn’t look at ourselves with curiosity and wonder as different than men. Or, perhaps it is old conditioning about needing to support everyone else rather than seizing the opportunity to REALLY give ourselves time for reflection and meditation on our own nature. Or, maybe it is based on fear and is a way to avoid the looking within that is necessary.

When I write of women being loving and compassionate and wise, I am not negating that men can also these things. When I write of the ‘Mother’ being absent from our culture, I am not saying that the ‘Father’ has been truly available to men.

What I know to be true is that a compassionate, relational humanity is based on a both/and model. In the humanity model we are opening to, one that is becoming more balanced between the masculine and feminine, we will see from a perspective of both/and, where we agree that we are different beings because we are different genders. Through this perspective we celebrate all of life and the differences that flow through our experience because the spirit we are flows through different gendered bodies.

Celebrating differences is celebrating the diversity of nature. It doesn’t mean continuing the sense of separation or the better than/less than  that has been a hallmark of our patriarchal culture. Instead, celebrating the organic truth of our nature allows us all to bring our full selves to the world, to honor the elegant unique simplicity of our design.

The idea of both/and is becoming more prevalent in many places, but I first encountered the power of it in an improvisation class I took a few years ago. We did an exercise called, “Yes, and” where you willingly accept the last improvisor’s choice of action and build upon it with your own. IN other words, you don’t block what they just brought to the experience, but rather build upon it. This experience was an amazing learning opportunity for me in two ways: 1) I got to see how conditioned I was to block, to take in another’s experience and want to change the direction, say ‘No’ to it, find some problem with it, or to see it as an opportunity to disagree with it and come up with something better. While most of this was pretty unconscious for me, the exercise brought it out. 2) By having to accept where the improvisation was going, which meant accept the other’s choice and position, and then finding a way to build upon it and move from it forced me to acknowledge the other person’s AND their experience and find a way to create and collaborate with inclusiveness. It was an experience of connection rather than separation, opening rather than closing off.

I see Both/And | Yes/And as two very similar world views we can hold in these times of deep chaos and churning. There is no limit to what we can create together as a world of human beings yearning for peace when we come together, when we honor where the other person is, when we act with reciprocity and empathy.

What if our design as woman and design as man is exactly perfect?

What if under our conditioning lies the intelligence of our being, an creative and cooperative design that fits together like a 7 billion piece jigsaw puzzle?

What if our solution can only come out of a clear seeing of all that exists right now and a new possibility that can come from everything that is here?

Our evolution as humans depends on the power of Both/And. It depends on the full flowering of the female gender and the male gender, blossoming out from the constricted conditioned attitudes we’ve been holding.

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Sending Love on This Day of 9/11

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Beginning in 2003, I had the honor and privilege of working with many women and men of Tuesday’s Children. These women and men were directly affected by 9/11, losing loved ones that day.

In my role as coach and teacher, we journeyed together through two different courses I taught: one on personal creativity and how to go back into life more vibrantly and authentically by tapping into ones creativity; and the other a dating and relationship course, From Alone to Alive, that utilized the same concept of personal creativity, while adding the concept of opening one’s heart fully to life and love again.

Each year on the anniversary of 9/11, I remember each one of these courageous human beings. Their courage, gentleness, resilience and willingness to be fully alive again never ceased to amaze me.

Over those years, they discovered a determination to share with, and give back to, the depths of their wisdom and heart.

What I learned from them is this ability to be fully alive to one’s own pain, heartache, and understanding, and to transmute these qualities into active service to others. Most of us shy away from the pain of our experience, believing it will be too much to bear. But, it is by directly opening to this experience, that we as human beings can transmute our own individual heartache into a powerful presence. It is in this presence that we can truly be of service to others, both individually and collectively.

With love, gratitude, and deep respect, I send each of you love from the depths of my heart.

photo by Julie Daley

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Belonging

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Dusk Light

There is no house, like the house of belonging. ~David Whyte

A week or so ago, I spent a couple of days at Esalen. On the Monday morning I was visiting, there was a dance session offered and I jumped right in. As I danced in these new surroundings, with other dancers I had not danced with before, I felt completely at ease in my body, with my dance, and with the others in the room. The word belonging came to mind, and I began to feel a deep sense of belonging there in the moment to this new place. As I danced, I could feel the peace that comes in knowing one belongs: to the group, the community, the world; to the earth and the land; to this life, and to something greater than oneself.

Belonging gives us a sense of peace. It allows for an opening to life, a trust, a reassurance that we can let go of our armor and be real with ourselves and each other. When we realize we belong, a letting go naturally occurs.

When we are born, we naturally belong to earth and to life. Eventually, though, we learn to believe the story that we have to earn our belonging. And, depending on our race, gender, sexual orientation, and other factors beyond our control, we learn what our earned belonging entitles us to, and the rights that go with it.

Dancing last week, I came to finally see through the illusion that we have to earn our belonging. As I looked out over the waves breaking against the rocks at Esalen, I realized the truth: we all belong to life, to this earth, to each other, to the world community. While nothing belongs to me, I belong to the world. I am a part of this big family called Life. Nothing belongs to me, yet I belong in the deepest, most freeing sense of the word.

When we realize we belong, and I mean realize deep down in the cells of our body that we BELONG, we finally we can take up space here. We can settle in to the fullness of our soul. We begin to relax and breath deeply. We are finally home. Belonging is a natural right and consequence of being a child of Mother Earth. We are Her children. She is the Mother. She provides for us. When we know Her this way, we begin to honor and love Her.

When we know we belong, we don’t have to keep proving it; we don’t have to deny others’ right to be here; and we don’t have to keep asserting our power. We can simply take our place, alongside each other, alongside all of Life.

Stop for a moment to see how you feel about belonging. What do you belong to? How comfortable are you in taking up space in this world, taking your rightful place, alongside all of Life. Where do you shrink back? Where do you feel you don’t belong? How might belonging be different for you as a woman in this world? What would be different if you realized you belong completely to this world, and this Life? Where is your house of belonging?

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