Love of Woman


“…this is where I want to love all the things it has taken me so long to learn to love.” ~David Whyte

I want to write about love.

Between women.

Love between women that was never part of the world I grew up in.

Love between women that defies the (il)logic of patriarchy.

Love that is outside the acceptable norm of patriarchal society.

This love between me and woman has been a long time coming.

To love woman in this way goes against unspoken rules.

It pushes up against learned fears.

And it compels me to belly-up to the place of trust, where the tenderness of past hurts reveals its pink flesh.

This love is far beyond simply promising not to put other women down.

This love is far beyond knowing that supporting another woman does not diminish me.

This love is more simple than all of these thinking things.

This love comes from the place deep within my body that is the radiance of the living, breathing essence of the sacred, divine feminine.

To love woman is to know the purity of the place made ready for new life, whether or not this place ever produces new life.

It has taken me a long time to learn to love woman – in myself, in others, and in its most essential form, the sacred, divine feminine.


This post is in response to The Summer of Love Invitational, where the lovely Mahala Mazerov has invited bloggers to write about loving kindness.

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12 Replies to “Love of Woman”

  1. Simply extraordinary!

    This brings to mind the longing I feel when I see images of women (especially in indigenous cultures) where the value of women-sisters is so free and strong, they live in their societies entwined.

  2. Mahala,
    Thank you. And, YES, the value of women-sisters…free and strong. Entwined. And, there is so much power here, power to hold each other fiercely and lovingly.
    I so appreciate your comment and wisdom gracing the page, here.

  3. I remember feeling that longing for sisterhood the first time I heard a Dar Williams song called “As Cool As I Am”, where she directly addresses the idea that the patriarchy wants to create competition between women who should be able to be friends.

    The first verse and refrain:

    Yeah, there was a time I didn’t like the love, I liked the climbers,
    I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one liners,
    And I was afraid, like you are when you’re too young to know the time,

    and so I watched the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon,
    You point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on,
    Like you own them just because you bought the time,
    And you turn to me, you say you hope I’m not threatened,

    Oh — I’m not that petty, as cool as I am,
    I thought you’d know this already,
    I will not be afraid of women,
    I will not be afraid of women.

  4. I’ve read this post 5 times. And every time I read it – it sucks the breath right out of me. I want to respond with some kind of profound statement. But the only response is visceral – and I cannot put it into words.

  5. Juliana: thanks for sharing that verse + refrain. i’m off to itunes to listen to that song as soon as i’m finished here, i don’t believe i’ve ever heard it before.

    Julie: oh how this makes me feel…really FEEL, and not just THINK. the love that pours through, the love that permeates my soul by reading your words on a flat page that somehow become multi-dimensional. (i love that this happens often when i’m in your space!)

    this whole part:
    “This love between me and woman has been a long time coming.” maybe since birth for me, when all the competitions began…

    “To love woman in this way goes against unspoken rules.” they’re all supposed to be catty and vicious on the inside, right??

    “It pushes up against learned fears.” oh what fears i have, the fears embedded by years of listening of watching of learning all the fears i ought to have about women because it was what i was shown

    “And it compels me to belly-up to the place of trust, where the tenderness of past hurts reveals its pink flesh.” at the core, aren’t we all just human, aren’t we all just sisters, don’t we all belong here together scratching and fighting FOR each other, not against each other…lending that hand in the face of fear and accepting that hand in the same face.

    i have so much more to contemplate on this…wow.

  6. In case you need to know, I LOVE your writing… and YOU. You speak from such a deep place of feminine wisdom (Sophia :-). Thank you for saying the things that many of us are thinking.

  7. Juliana – these lyrics are so beautiful. thank you for sharing them here, with us. Longing for sisterhood – for me it was, and continues to be, a longing deep in my body. To connect in this way is profound. Thank you for coming by and sharing with all of us.

    Renae – “it sucks the breath right out of me… the only response is visceral – and I cannot put it into words.” Perfect. Simply feel this feeling, this visceral feeling, fully. Maybe there are no words for this feeling. I sense there is something wanting to reveal itself through this response. Thank you for sharing this with us…what you have shared IS profound. Blessings to you.

    Dian – “the love that pours through, the love that permeates my soul by reading your words” … yes, that love comes through from the Divine to you.
    “aren’t we all just human, aren’t we all just sisters,” yes. we are just human, just sisters. we can remember this, knowing that everything else we were told is simply not true. We can trust our hearts and our bodies, that tell us the longing we feel for sisterhood is real. I so love that you are here to share your wisdom with us. xo

    Heather – Thank you for your kind words. that place of feminine wisdom speaks through us all…when we learn to trust Sophia from within. Blessings to you, dear. xo

  8. you know, darlin, the first time we talked live and in person, you said “i love women” and i replied “me, too. i just love women, too.” the rightness of that statement, the liberation, made us smile right out loud. do you remember that? it was this profound moment. we said it, we laughed, then we paused to breathe it in. at that point, we didn’t have the words to describe the profoundness, but you’ve excavated them – beautiful words strung together to describe a love that defies the (il)logic of patriarchy. a right love. a deep love. a boundless love. such a beautiful post . . .

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  10. I believe John Lennon when he said: ‘Women are the leaders of the world’, and if we are making the difference which needs to happen now for our children and grandchildren, the best and most cohesive way we can move forward is if we can love each with our hearts and Spirits.
    Your words are beautiful and timely! Thank you so much..

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