Mae gen i afal, what we would translate into English as “I have an apple,” literally means “There is an apple with me” in Welsh. In Celtic languages there is little concept of ownership, of “having” things. Things are not possessed by you; they are “with” you.
Imagine the shift in consciousness that would occur if our language suddenly didn’t support the possessive case. ~from Fruitflesh by Gayle Brandeis
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I think this is one of the most profound shifts the human race could make – to shift from the idea of ownership to ‘being with’. What would happen to us, where we believe we own everything from goods, to natural resources, to the planet, to each other, if we were to realize we don’t own a thing…not even the days we have ahead?
It’s not like it’s a new idea – many cultures, not just the Celtic culture, have seen, and continue to see, things this way.
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As I pondered this, I thought of how things would change if we humans realized we don’t own each other, if we realized this about our partners, our children, our lovers, our family, and not just our human family, but also other living beings, the earth, all of life.
I don’t own a thing. Everything that surrounds me is ‘with’ me.
When I see it this way, I no longer feel things hierarchically, but rather relationally.
When I see it this way, I feel connection, relationship, mutuality, and kinship.
When I see it this way, I feel reverence for the dignity, autonomy, and sovereignty of the ‘other’ I am with.
When I see it this way, I see you next to me, not across from me. I see you with me, side by side, walking together.
When I see it this way, especially in relation to the Earth, I feel a sense of awe. When I see it this way, I come to know the grandeur of the Earth and the fact that She gives me life. Without her, I would not exist.
Without each other, we would not exist.
Without you, I would not exist.
What a slippery slope the possessive case has been, and continues to be. Language is powerful. How we use it creates how we see the world, each other and ourselves.
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And, you?
How might this shift cause you to see things differently?
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Image courtesy of Jipol by Creative Commons 2.0 license
When an idea reaches critical mass there is no stopping the shift its presence will induce.
~Marianne Williamson
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What if the Internet, itself, was spiritual in nature? This is a question I wondered about back in 2001, when I designed and wrote a thesis on Spirituality and the Internet. My ideas at the time were roughly hewn. I had just finished three years doing a lot of coursework in design, computer science, and digital art. The project was to create a spiritual space on the Internet. But, the deeper message, was that the Internet itself was a spiritual space, simply in its form – following on the form follows function idea.
On this same idea, just today, two very interesting and timely articles fell into my lap, by way of – you guessed it – the Internet.
In a country where about one-third of the population regularly goes online, the internet gives women “a place to vent out our frustrations and our dreams,†said Reem Asaad, 37, a professor of banking and finance in the Saudi port city of Jeddah who blogs at reemasaad.blogspot.com.
It also has allowed women who normally are “physically invisible†to participate more actively in Saudi society, Asaad added.
“From the authorities’ viewpoint,†she explained, “so long as women are behind a curtain, or a screen, and so long as they are not before a camera or walking down the street, then everything is fine. Women are free to do anything they want as as long as they aren’t seen, heard or spotted doing it by men.â€
When I read the words “physically invisible”, my heart felt a sharp pain of sadness and despair. I can’t begin to imagine how it feels to be physically invisible. Feeling into what it might be like to be hidden in such a way stimulated a deep sense of compassion for all women who are experiencing this. Obviously, I don’t know what this is like. And, of course, I am projecting my own fears and feelings onto the story here. But, from one woman to another, from one soul to another, I feel for these women.
To read on and see how the internet is bringing them into connection and out of such separation brought a sense of possibility for what might be, how the world could shift simply through the Internet. To shift this way, we have to see that the Internet is the means for connection, something I believe we are beginning to understand more deeply each day.
After sitting with these thoughts, the second article fell into my lap (or I should say, landed in my inbox). The Internet as a Living Symbol of Global Oneness, written by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee Ph.D., a Sufi teacher and author, is an extremely important article on Huffington Post. It could change the nature of how we experience, and use, the Internet.
“I believe that the Internet is a gift we have been given. It provides an image of how the energy of life can flow freely in a way that defies the barriers of nationality and geography. Yet sadly because we are so immersed in the surface activity of this technology, in its tools of commerce and communication, we do not realize its deeper, symbolic dimension. A symbol is a connection to the sacred ground of our being which alone gives real meaning to our daily life. The Internet, as a living symbol of global oneness, offers us a direct connection to an awareness of divine oneness (italics mine). But because we have lost touch with the symbolic dimension of life, we do not fully recognize this potential of the Internet: as a dynamic expression of a new consciousness of oneness that has within it access to energies and means that can unify our divisive world (italics mine). If we were awaken to its real potential, we would be truly in awe–and we would laugh, with wonder, at life’s capacity to recreate itself while we are not even looking.
What does it mean to shift to seeing the internet as a symbol of global divine oneness? What does this mean for our everyday use of the Internet?
I can see, now, that all my attention back in 2001 on this notion of connection through the Internet was coming from intellectual and psychological perspectives. The internet as a dynamic symbol? A brand new door of understanding and knowing.
The Internet as this symbol feels deeper and richer. It feels alive. It is alive. It is dynamic. It has energies and means within it to bring about the awareness of oneness that already exists. We aren’t in control here. Yet, we can, if conscious, align with this potential inherent in the “gift we have been given”.
We can see ourselves in connection with others out there, like these women in Saudi Arabia who are now experiencing a new kind of visibility. We can know we are moving within this dynamic consciousness of oneness as we bring our own gifts to the interplay of connection and expression. We don’t have to figure out how to use this. We can’t figure it out. It knows. It is alive. We can trust in its aliveness. We can move with it.
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One thing I do know: the importance of connecting women, in order to awaken the vital energies of healing and nourishment that lie dormant in the cells of our bodies – to awaken the primal sacred feminine nature of women’s creativity. We won’t fully bring to life this force within that is pushing to awaken, if we stay hidden, invisible and alone in isolation. We will awaken in community. We have been given the gift. How will we use it?
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And, you?
How have you already experienced this divine oneness? How does knowing this change your perspective on the Internet? How might you being to move with it?
What if simply knowing the Internet as a living, dynamic manifestation of oneness were the idea that needs to reach critical mass that Marianne Williamson speaks of? How might things shift?
After I wrote yesterday’s post where I shared about the wonderful connections with women I have made during this year, I felt an urge to celebrate as many of these women in today’s post by thanking as many as I can for the gifts they’ve given me by sharing their personal experiences so vulnerably and beautifully. These women have also shared by coming to my blog, reading and leaving a thank you note to me in the form of a comment – something that lifted me and encouraged me to write with more courage and vulnerability myself.
This is my digital thank you note to you beautiful women. This is my celebration of you!
So, in no particular order at all, here’s to you beautiful women. I celebrate you and your voices of vulnerability and truth!:
If you feel compelled, take a moment to check out these beautiful women and the work they do in the world. It is an honor and pleasure to know each of you. I look forward to our deepening friendship in this coming new decade.
I met a couple of someones in person that I had only known from blogs and or Twitter:
@JonathanFields at his Tribal Author Camp in NYC. Jonathan is all that he seems to be on Twitter and his blog, and even more. His camp was fantastic because he’s a real, straightshooter. He knows his stuff.
@WhiteHotTruth (fiery Danielle La Porte) at my Sunday morning dance in Sausalito. She was out here in California to hold one of her Fire Starter sessions in Oakland. After dancing in the same Sweat Your Prayers meditation for two hours, I finally realized where I knew her from: Twitter. I told her I recognized her from Twitter. We chatted for a moment. Then that was that.
@WildHeartQueen (the lovely Chris Zydel) for lunch after we met at the Oakland Tweetup, just after I joined Twitter. Chris is just as vivacious and lovely as she is in Twitterland. I look forward to more in-person time with her.
Multiple lovely twitteraties at the Oakland Tweetup at @numitea in Alameda, California.
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I did discover Twitter in 2009.
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But, if I were to look back on 2009 to decide which was THE social web moment, it would be hard to pick just one. I have met many wonderful people through social media this year, which has only strengthened my belief in the basic goodness of human beings, and the desire of humans to connect, share and love.
Twitter love is real. Twitter is (not what I had initially anticipated) a place where people genuinely want to discover support, and learn from others, which can go hand-in-hand with networking and marketing your business.
I’ll share just one story that helps to show this. Last week, I saw a tweet about a blog post on the Winter Solstice. I clicked on the link and was taken to the most lovely enticing post about the Solstice, written by a woman I had never heard of: Marjory Mejia. I was so moved by her post, I left a comment on the page and re-tweeted her initial Tweet about the post. In very little time, a matter of minutes, I received a beautiful, heart-felt thank you from Marjory. She expressed such gratitude for my very small acts of support for her work. She genuinely was touched by the words I wrote.
Multiply this story many times, and you have my best social web moment for 2009. I have met many generous people through social media. I have supported them, and in a reciprocity that seems to be the backbone of Twitter, they have supported me ten times that. In fact, @jonathanfields told those of us who attended his tribal author camp to put in 10X what we ever hoped to receive back in to social media, supporting those people we genuinely felt a connection with. I find that no matter how much I feel I give, I always receive so much more.
The most beautiful thing for me is the connection I am making with women who are discovering their voice through writing and blogging, just as I am. A spirit of comraderie and love is present, in a way that I have not experienced for a while. Way back in 2004, I joined the Ryze network, and promptly established a network on Ryze named Wildly Creative Women. There, I met so many wonderful women from around the world.
The Social Web is most definitely a place where women are connecting with each other, witnessing each other as we write from our hearts, and sharing the emerging feminine consciousness.
I want to give another shout out to @gwenbell. Her wonderful challenge has been a catalyst for so many of us to write more, post more and support more. Thank you.
Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:Â Day 22: Startup. What’s a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?
“A spirituality that is only private and self-absorbed, one devoid of an authentic political and social consciousness, does little to halt the suicidal juggernaut of history. On the other hand, an activism that is not purified by profound spiritual and psychological self-awareness and rooted in divine truth, wisdom, and compassion will only perpetuate the problem it is trying to solve, however righteous its intentions. When, however, the deepest and most grounded spiritual vision is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing political, economic, and social institutions, a holy force – the power of wisdom and love in action – is born. This force I define as Sacred Activism.” ~ Andrew Harvey
Why is it special? The Institute is bringing to the world Sacred Activism, which is a marriage between Activism, the traditional path to social justice, and the realization that all of life is sacred – ALL of life is sacred.
Sacred Activism is compassionate action, bringing the wisdom, love and connection of the Sacred Feminine back into this world that so desperately needs it.
I have already celebrated the Institute here and here in my blog. But, the Institute, and its founders, also deserve this mention as best startup, because of the sheer amount of dedication, time, energy, tenacity and profound courage it has taken to create this container for growing sacred activists.
I first heard of it in July, so I wasn’t able to attend the first meetings in April and June, but what I learned in September and November, about how to bring my personal vision for a change in the social structre into concrete action, was of immeasurable value.
I learned about changing the structure of the way things are by engaging people with their values, then seeing if their behaviors match these values, from Monica Sharma, Director of Leadership and Capacity Development at OHRLLS, United Nations. She is a powerhouse speaker with a vision that sets you on fire.
Monica’s teachings were invaluable to me, as I deepen my work on helping women (including myself) to heal from the pain of conditioning that teaches us we are not enough, and from the projections that are placed upon us by a culture that fears our power and mystery. The cultural shadow that keeps women believing in their powerlessness is insidious in how it keeps us believing so much negativity about the feminine and females in general. In very practical terms, facilitating this healing can bring a much needed shift to our world.
In November, we had an entire session on the body (global and personal), where we practiced a new form of yoga, Heart Yoga, developed by Karuna Erickson and Andrew Harvey. It is a beautiful form of physical yoga married with visions of the heart. Their new book, Heart Yoga, will be available in May of 2010.
Of course, we were blessed with the fiery passion of Andrew Harvey each day of our trainings. Andrew is passionate about sharing his hope for a different world. If you don’t know this man’s works, check out his lengthy list of creations.
Simply coming together with people from all over the country who are committed to sacred action created a wonderful community to draw upon was a powerful affirmation of the widespread desire of so many Americans who hold a vision for life in our world to be very different than what we see today.
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If this interests you, the Institute will be holding more teaching days in 2010. Also, check out Andrew’s call to create Networks of Grace. As Andrew writes, we have very little time…
“The one hope for the future lies, I believe, in Sacred Activism – the fusion of the deepest spiritual knowledge and passion with clear, wise, radical action in all the arenas of the world, inner and outer.
We have very little time in which to awaken and transform ourselves, to be able to preserve the planet, and to heal the divisions between the powerful and the powerless.
Let us go forward now with firm resolve and profound dedication.” ~ Andrew Harvey
This is how I see the blogsphere. A million stars tied together through connections, deeply intimate thoughts, fiery proclamations, warm invitations – a connection of souls sharing the essence of who they are and what they are here to do.
In my academic travels at Stanford, I wrote my honor’s thesis on Spirituality and the Internet. Back in 1999, when I first had this idea, the Internet held fewer constellations. In my part Computer Science/part Design major, I wanted to marry these two aspects. This topic came to me in a moment of panic as I sat across from my adviser in a show-down meeting where I HAD to make a decision on what to create. At Stanford, Spirituality and the Internet met with many raised eyebrows, a few chuckles, and couple of thoughtless remarks, but only curiosity and encouragement from my adviser, Clifford Nass.
Since those days, I have moved into coaching, teaching and writing rather than computer science; but, I am still intrigued by technology and its ability to connect us, and our thoughts, yearnings and aspirations to share our deepest essence with others, and to know others by way of theirs.
In perusing the blogsphere, I have discovered many homes where beautiful souls live. In this realm, I just can’t say what is best, for best is determined by the moment, when I happen to land on a site, am warmly invited in, and I find a moment of connection where my guest serves up her/his beat meal.
But, ONE blog calls me back to why I do what I do: Peace X Peace. As their name implies, their mission is to bring peace to the world, by bringing women together. Each time I read their blog, check in with the site, and read women’s stories at Voice X Voice, I re-dedicate my life’s work to bringing peace to the relationship between men and women, for the sake of our children, our planet, and all living beings.
Voice X Voice is a good analogy for the blogsphere as I see it. It’s why I blog – to sing my soul into the chorus of all souls. As I looked at all the blogs I had discovered this year, I realized even more that we all have something so important to say, AND our voice has its own flavor, its own qualities, its own complete ordinary uniqueness.
For too long, our voices have been silent. What a beautiful thing Spirituality and the Internet has become.
Our prompt:
Conference or Workshop I attended in 2009 that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?
This year I attended a variety of workshops, including: a 5Rhythms Dance workshop on Maui, called Libido, where we focused on dancing our sensual, creative energy; a social media camp for authors titled Tribal Authors, in New York City; and a two-part conference in Oak Park, Illinois put on by the Institute for Sacred Activism. Each of these workshops were very different, and all were highly beneficial. I attended each one as a result of an intuitive hit that I needed to go. In hindsight, I can see my intuition is spot-on!
I spent two days with Jonathan, and over twenty other brilliant people who have written, or are writing, books, and who want to learn how to sell their books in today’s world.
Jonathan knows his stuff. He shared what he knows generously. I learned so much about social media- the ins and outs, what to do, what not to do, and some great things on the horizon that many aren’t yet even aware of.
Plus, and this is the really great part, I met some great people, who are also kick-ass social media mavens (I’m not too proud to name-drop here) like @lenawest, @AmyOscar, @daverendall, @ManishaThakor and @AmyPorterfield.
The benefits of attending Tribal Authors Camp were the nuts and bolts about how to put together a social media strategy and campaign to sell your books in an era when traditional publishing is not what it used to be. As Jonathan wrote:
“In the end, it really comes down to one question–who has the power? If you’re answer right now is, “not me,†then you’ve got two choices. Fantasize about a future that’s never going to happen…or build a next-generation digital tribe that’ll give you 10 times more power to control your writing, sell thousands more books and make a lot more money doing what you love.”
The Tribal Authors Camp was more than worth the time, money and effort it took for me to get there. And, I discovered a whole new world and way to sell my soon-to-be-ready-for-prime-time book.
Sometimes, life is like pasta – in the simplest moments, when the heart is set free to enjoy the little things it loves, life is served up al dente, or ‘to-the-tooth’. In these simple moments, taking it in, (life that is) is like savoring rich, warm pasta, that is soft in the mouth, but still has a firmness that feels so right.
In these al dente moments, there is a rightness to life, an alignment where one feels so much a part of the ebb and flow, of the community, of the day. It’s like life and you have settled down for a warm meal and you enjoy each other’s company. The surroundings don’t need to be posh, and what’s happening doesn’t have to be good and big and splashy. Life is just there, served up to be savored.
A few months ago, I had a meal with my honey, Jeff, where life was served up just this way.
Jeff and I were in the city, San Francisco. We had come from Berkeley, to enjoy the annual fleet week, where the Blue Angels put on a show over the San Francisco Bay, using the Golden Gate bridge and Alcatraz as their stage props. Unusual for October, the day was gray and foggy, and really cold.
When the show was over we trudged up from the Marina to Chestnut street, ready for a hot meal. It was only a few minutes before 5:00, but we were cold and hungry. I remembered a place to eat that we had been to once before – E’ Angelo Trattoria. Fortunately, they opened at 5:00 on Sundays. We made our way there. By the time we entered, there was only one table available – so surprising for 5:00 on a Sunday.
The restaurant is very traditional Italian. The wait staff is Italian by birth, and that day many of the patrons were Italian. Ever since I spent three months studying in Florence, I have so enjoyed moments when I get to have a taste of Italy here in the States, even if just for a meal. That day, there seemed to be lots of kids out with their grandparents, one group sitting right next to us. It’s such a sweet sight to see two elderly people, totally enjoying their young grandchildren.
The special that night was Beef Short Ribs and Pappardelle. Now, I hardly ever eat pasta…only when I’m in Italy. But, this night Jeff and I both ordered the special. This is when life served up the most amazing meal, al dente. I can still taste the flavors of this amazing dish. The pasta was just right, and had been blessed with a virgin olive oil and seasoning that melted right in my mouth. Pappardelle comes from a verb that means to ‘gobble up’.
For some reason, everything just came together that night. Life served up a rich, beautiful moment, and I was lucky enough to notice and take it in.
I’ve noticed a curious thing as I inquire more deeply into the awakening Feminine. There seem to be two (at least) threads of conversation around the Feminine: awakening feminine consciousness in both women and men, and finding balance within our own beings between our masculine and feminine aspects; and, women awakening to their own unconditioned, organic way of being, and the natural power that comes from this energy becoming conscious. Unabashedly Female is a place to converse about the latter, to discover together what is coming into consciousness solely through women.
Most of the time, I read about the former, feminine qualities that both women and men are finding again, such as receptivity, collaboration, relationship and a host of others. When this is the conversation, women and men are included together because these aspects are part of coming to wholeness in every being.
Many times when I speak (or write) of the latter, as in this blog, I ‘hear’ people being in the either/or mindset, a mindset that comes from the culture we are swimming win, one based on a patriarchal perspective. Ubiquitous in this perspective is the notion that things are either/or: that one is either for or against; that either something is true or it is not true; that if I speak of one thing, then I am negating its opposite. This either/or perspective shows up often when I write about women and re-discovering our own nature, that of the sacred feminine. It’s as if our conditioning as women tells us we can’t or shouldn’t look at ourselves with curiosity and wonder as different than men. Or, perhaps it is old conditioning about needing to support everyone else rather than seizing the opportunity to REALLY give ourselves time for reflection and meditation on our own nature. Or, maybe it is based on fear and is a way to avoid the looking within that is necessary.
When I write of women being loving and compassionate and wise, I am not negating that men can also these things. When I write of the ‘Mother’ being absent from our culture, I am not saying that the ‘Father’ has been truly available to men.
What I know to be true is that a compassionate, relational humanity is based on a both/and model. In the humanity model we are opening to, one that is becoming more balanced between the masculine and feminine, we will see from a perspective of both/and, where we agree that we are different beings because we are different genders. Through this perspective we celebrate all of life and the differences that flow through our experience because the spirit we are flows through different gendered bodies.
Celebrating differences is celebrating the diversity of nature. It doesn’t mean continuing the sense of separation or the better than/less than that has been a hallmark of our patriarchal culture. Instead, celebrating the organic truth of our nature allows us all to bring our full selves to the world, to honor the elegant unique simplicity of our design.
The idea of both/and is becoming more prevalent in many places, but I first encountered the power of it in an improvisation class I took a few years ago. We did an exercise called, “Yes, and” where you willingly accept the last improvisor’s choice of action and build upon it with your own. IN other words, you don’t block what they just brought to the experience, but rather build upon it. This experience was an amazing learning opportunity for me in two ways: 1) I got to see how conditioned I was to block, to take in another’s experience and want to change the direction, say ‘No’ to it, find some problem with it, or to see it as an opportunity to disagree with it and come up with something better. While most of this was pretty unconscious for me, the exercise brought it out. 2) By having to accept where the improvisation was going, which meant accept the other’s choice and position, and then finding a way to build upon it and move from it forced me to acknowledge the other person’s AND their experience and find a way to create and collaborate with inclusiveness. It was an experience of connection rather than separation, opening rather than closing off.
I see Both/And | Yes/And as two very similar world views we can hold in these times of deep chaos and churning. There is no limit to what we can create together as a world of human beings yearning for peace when we come together, when we honor where the other person is, when we act with reciprocity and empathy.
What if our design as woman and design as man is exactly perfect?
What if under our conditioning lies the intelligence of our being, an creative and cooperative design that fits together like a 7 billion piece jigsaw puzzle?
What if our solution can only come out of a clear seeing of all that exists right now and a new possibility that can come from everything that is here?
Our evolution as humans depends on the power of Both/And. It depends on the full flowering of the female gender and the male gender, blossoming out from the constricted conditioned attitudes we’ve been holding.
There is no house, like the house of belonging. ~David Whyte
A week or so ago, I spent a couple of days at Esalen. On the Monday morning I was visiting, there was a dance session offered and I jumped right in. As I danced in these new surroundings, with other dancers I had not danced with before, I felt completely at ease in my body, with my dance, and with the others in the room. The word belonging came to mind, and I began to feel a deep sense of belonging there in the moment to this new place. As I danced, I could feel the peace that comes in knowing one belongs: to the group, the community, the world; to the earth and the land; to this life, and to something greater than oneself.
Belonging gives us a sense of peace. It allows for an opening to life, a trust, a reassurance that we can let go of our armor and be real with ourselves and each other. When we realize we belong, a letting go naturally occurs.
When we are born, we naturally belong to earth and to life. Eventually, though, we learn to believe the story that we have to earn our belonging. And, depending on our race, gender, sexual orientation, and other factors beyond our control, we learn what our earned belonging entitles us to, and the rights that go with it.
Dancing last week, I came to finally see through the illusion that we have to earn our belonging. As I looked out over the waves breaking against the rocks at Esalen, I realized the truth: we all belong to life, to this earth, to each other, to the world community. While nothing belongs to me, I belong to the world. I am a part of this big family called Life. Nothing belongs to me, yet I belong in the deepest, most freeing sense of the word.
When we realize we belong, and I mean realize deep down in the cells of our body that we BELONG, we finally we can take up space here. We can settle in to the fullness of our soul. We begin to relax and breath deeply. We are finally home. Belonging is a natural right and consequence of being a child of Mother Earth. We are Her children. She is the Mother. She provides for us. When we know Her this way, we begin to honor and love Her.
When we know we belong, we don’t have to keep proving it; we don’t have to deny others’ right to be here; and we don’t have to keep asserting our power. We can simply take our place, alongside each other, alongside all of Life.
Stop for a moment to see how you feel about belonging. What do you belong to? How comfortable are you in taking up space in this world, taking your rightful place, alongside all of Life. Where do you shrink back? Where do you feel you don’t belong? How might belonging be different for you as a woman in this world? What would be different if you realized you belong completely to this world, and this Life? Where is your house of belonging?
I’ve noticed a curious thing as I inquire more deeply into the awakening Feminine. There seem to be two (at least) threads of conversation around the Feminine: awakening feminine consciousness in both women and men, and finding balance within our own beings between our masculine and feminine aspects; and, women awakening to their own unconditioned, organic way of being, and the natural power that comes from this energy becoming conscious. Unabashedly Female is a place to converse about the latter, to discover together what is coming into consciousness solely through women.
