Addressed, Not Discussed.

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ravenpoem

 

Raven called to me.
I stood silent, listening.

Raven took flight, then circled in infinity loops.
I stood silent, watching from the center point.

Raven flew away.
I stood silent, remembering.

 

Bear Witness

The other day, I was walking home and Raven called to me. I knew it was Raven, not Crow, for Raven sings a different song than Crow. I knew Raven was speaking to me, because my body responded to the call. I hear Ravens call everyday. There are many who fly and call in the place where I live. And when I hear these calls, my body listens; yet, my body rarely responds in the way it did on this day.

When my body responded by opening to a conversation, it turned to look directly at Raven. Raven was sitting atop a four-story apartment building, and as my body turned and my eyes came into contact, Raven looked directly at me…then turned away, then turned back, then turned away, then turned back…and Raven’s glance then rested upon mine.

We stood there simply seeing each other without sound for about a minute. As I addressed Raven with my awareness, a beautiful light emanated from all around Raven. And then, Raven took flight and swooped down to just above me, and began to fly in figure eights, with the center point of this infinity sign directly above me. Raven flew these arcs multiple times as I looked open and up, watching with a kind of quiet amazement. I continued to listen, taking Raven in, as Raven spoke to me in song and flight. And as Raven flew away, I could feel the gift left in Raven’s wake. I could feel a remembering taking place in my soul.

I stood there for another few minutes just feeling this remembering taking root, a remembering that never became rational but rather laid itself out in layers, layers woven throughout my being.

I wrote this poem directly flowing this delightful conversation. It flowed from my heart. It flowed from Raven.


Addressed instead of discussed.

I just finished a book that opened a window wider into the reality of this world we live in, this world that includes Raven. I’ve remembered layers of this world, a world my body knows, but one I was not raised in. It’s the world as a vibrant, alive creation; a world where all of life is interrelated.

In Secrets of the Talking Jaguar, Martín Prechtel writes about how all of the adults in the Mayan village where he lived knew the ‘Respect Names’ for ‘deified forces’:

“The same was true for fire, lake, mountains, and many other natural forces. All these things were alive and had to be addressed as kin when in their presence, otherwise they would be insulted. The same etiquette used for humans extended to the world. Thus the things of the world were addressed instead of discussed.”

When I read these words, I stopped reading. I took them in…the difference between being addressed and discussed. I remembered back to childhood, how I felt discussed and not addressed – seen but not heard. I remembered how I felt many times as a woman when I was discussed and not addressed.

One time in particular, when I worked in an office as a department manager, a male co-worker from a different department came into our office, looked around and then said, “Where is everyone?” He meant the men. A few other women and I were very present, very there, but he did not address us.

How many times have I done that to others in my life? How many times have I looked toward a face, or faces, and not seen the soul(s) standing right in front of me?

But it is more than even this. With regard to life, there is a hierarchy of worth and value in our world. It is clear than certain human beings have more supposed value and worth, hence more rights and privilege, than others. And the rest of life? Raven? Crow? So far down on the scale.

Everything alive not only deserves, but is created, to be addressed with dignity and respect. We only discuss things when we are seeing them as things…not alive…simply objects…simply things that we don’t value, or that we feel separate from.

When we address we signal a desire to be in communion with, to learn from, to be affected by, and to affect. When we address another, we open the door to remembering the wholeness of our soul, the soul of the being we are addressing, and the soul of the earth as mother to all beings.

 

Remembering Wholeness

Wholeness knows these things. Wholeness addresses. Wholeness addresses woman with dignity and respect, with love and sisterhood, with a remembrance of connection that happens when we lead with wholeness, not with our wounding.

Like Raven, we can learn to walk in two worlds, the world that doesn’t acknowledge wholeness, and the world that only knows wholeness.

Like Raven, we can engage with life through our bodies, bodies that long to address and be addressed.

To do so means we must address our bodies, not discuss them.

To do so means we listen to our bodies, rather than pretend they are ignorant creatures with no wisdom to guide us.

To do so means we realize that everything has inherent value and that everything is sacred, including our bodies, including Raven, including other women, including all beings, including all of life.

Address life and you’ll see life has always been addressing you.

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Wise Woman Wednesday – Randi Buckley as Midwife

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Wise Woman Wednesday is a very organic thing. The first wise woman post was a spontaneous expression of respect for a woman whose work I love. It was a surprise – even she didn’t know it was coming. That was the beginning of Wise Woman Wednesday. When my heart desires to share a woman I love and respect, as well as something in particular she is offering that completely speaks to me, then a Wise Woman post is born.

Today’s Wise Woman is Randi Buckley. She did know I was going to write this post, but she didn’t know what I was going to share. She’ll discover it just as you do. So, none of this is planned or scripted, except for my request of her to send me information about her program, Maybe Baby, simply because I am not so great with details. I wanted to make sure I got those right.

Randi Buckley

Randi is loved by many. She calls herself a ‘storm tamer’ and her site offers this:

“Randi is equal parts Pema Chodron, Sofia Loren and Clint Eastwood, with a splash of George Carlin.”

I definitely see Sofia, Pema, and George. I can’t say that I’ve seen Clint, but I’d love to… Randi?

I first ‘met’ Randi on Twitter. She reached out to me and, with her wonderful sense of humor and soft, receptive heart, saw me in a way that surprised me. She has that ability…to see you deeply and lovingly. Last February, I drove down to visit her in person. She knew I’d been moving through the break-up of my relationship, and as we sat down to talk the very first thing she asked me, looking our from her deep soulful eyes, was, “How is your heart?” Yes, that is Randi – intuitive, kind, empathetic, and funny as hell. You know how you just know when you hit it off with someone, how the friendship just feels right? Yup. That’s my relationship with Randi.

But, there is more than just our friendship. There is my deep respect for Randi’s work. People rave about her coaching. Her writing is fierce and full. And her offers are attracting people from around the world. I don’t mean to imply Randi is something close to perfection. Not at all. What I do see is that Randi is giving to the world what she is here to give. When that happens, when we are giving what we are here to give, meaning what we create in the world is congruent with who we really are, our work begins to take on that quality that is so hard to define, yet so evident and visceral.

Randi speaks to this alignment and congruency when she describes how her offering, Maybe Baby, was born.

“I basically created it for myself, blending my own journey and coaching.  Then in feeling it out and doing some research I discovered it’s the biggest conversation not being had by women- and a desperately needed one.  It’s evolved quite a bit from my own ‘version’ but it started with the whispers in my own heart and the need to own my truth and walk my talk.

I did my research.  I put out a request on Twitter to interview women who were ambivalent about motherhood or weren’t entirely sure about their decision. With only two tweets, and within two hours, I received over 200 responses from women around the world who were eager to speak honestly and without judgement about where they were at with this very question.”

When Randi spoke to me about Maybe Baby and how deeply transformational it was for women, my heart was moved. Those whispers in our hearts bring our hearts together.

Motherhood

My experience becoming a mother was so different. For me, having children was never a question. I had my first daughter when I was 17. I never even had one thought of not having my baby. And once she was born, I never really worried about how to do it… it’s as though my wisdom just kicked in and my body and heart knew what to do. The same thing happened with my second daughter. I’m not saying it was all roses and sunshine. Motherhood is a deep journey in transformation. But, what I am saying is that I never had to face this question.

I do know many women who have wondered about having children…perhaps wondered is not the right word…I know many women who have struggled to find the ‘right answer’ to the question. There are so many voices out there in our culture that try to define and evaluate a woman’s worth by this one thing – whether or not we are mothers, and it is such crap. As a woman, it causes great pain in my heart when women I work with tell me they feel somehow less a woman because they don’t have children. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you’ve read much of my work, you know how I feel about women and creativity. We are all mothers. All women are mothers to every child. And we give birth to so many creations, one of which is children.

Perhaps that is why I feel so happy to share Randi and her work with you. It is deep work and it is work that is helping to heal the wounds of degradation in women from a culture that continually attempts to characterize women by the roles we fill. We are not our roles or our relationships. When we find who and what we are at the center of our being, then we come to these relationships with our whole selves, and we create what comes from the heart.

Maybe Baby

If you are wondering about motherhood, or if you know someone who is, take a look at Maybe Baby. See if it resonates. There are two options…

Maybe Baby– group program – begins Oct 6th, but you can register through Oct. 8th

A six-week guided coaching journey, with exercises I’ve designed to crack open the truth and move women closer to peace with that truth- whatever it may be. We uncover, transform and learn from fear, find out who’s voices are influencing us, learn eloquent ways to say what you need to say to partners and others, etc.. You’ll have support and non-judgmental coaching, recordings of interviews and intimate conversations with experts about their professional take and personal Maybe Baby journey, includes online coaching/community, group coaching calls and coaching gym for laser- one on one sessions with me. It’s all online and there is new material each week.

Maybe Baby Self-Study – same material, but meant for the solo-journeying woman on her own and at her own pace. The self-study version is to be released October 12th.

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Please note: these are NOT affiliate links. I receive no compensation if you purchase the programs through these links. As with any offerings, check to see if the work itself resonates with you. Ask questions you feel called to ask. Coaching (and a program such as this) works when the relationship between client and coach is right.

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How will you be in your Womanhood?

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Womanhood. The Sacred Feminine incarnate.

For so long, a story of womanhood as less-than has been told, repeatedly, in almost every language. Tongues of both genders have spoken words of feminine degradation. These stories have been woven into the institutions we have to interact with on a daily basis.

They are stories that have been told for many centuries. And yet, that doesn’t make them true.

In life, there is no better-than or less-than, there is only what is…what shines out from the depths of your eyes, what loves from deep in the center of your heart, what moves in the belly of your soul. It is only our minds that want to compare and judge.

The mystery that is creation, will always be a mystery, no matter how doggedly man pursues the ultimate unveiling of creation by way of rational reason. At the heart of the heart, is a sacred mystery, at the center of the womb, a divine purity.

What if the very thing you hide, or try to deny, or apologize for, about being a woman is what ultimately will free you to be all that you already are?

What if the embodied awareness of this pure mystery in every woman on the planet is what is needed for our very survival?

What if?

How would you be with your womanhood?

How WILL you be in your womanhood?

I’d love to know your thoughts to these questions by having you share them in the comments. I feel we all benefit from knowing what is going on deep inside of women. It is time we share.

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All of Life is this Wild Eros, Including You

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Today is International Women’s Day.

I’ve been not quite sure what to write. I have mixed feelings about this day.

On one hand, so many women need to know, in a real and grounded everyday way, that being a woman is a beautiful thing, and that they gifts we women offer to the world are worthy and sorely needed – gifts that we offer when we are being wholly who we are as women.

On the other hand, around the world, women still are far from sharing equal rights with men. Here in the United States, we’re seeing how much fear and distrust of women still lurks in the shadows, and sometimes stands in broad daylight. Having a day where we celebrate women can feel so shallow in the light of the atrocities happening each and every day around the world. Sometimes, it feels like we’ve been thrown a bone when in reality those who hold the strings of power have no intention of really offering women equal rights.

Speaking of strings of power,

have you ever noticed that women will most likely never have equal rights in this cultural paradigm? I mean, let’s look at the present day situation. In a cultural construct based on heirerarchy and patriarchy, with a system set up to keep this heirarchy in place, maybe it’s only possible if the actual structures crumble…

Everything eventually dies, including structures and cultural constructs. I see the structure of patriarchy most certainly is dying.

The structures that we currently see in the world as we know it, at least most of the world, are structures that were created with a mindset that the feminine is something to be feared and distrusted…the feminine in women, the feminine in men, and the feminine in the world – basically all of nature. So much of what we see in our human constructs were built on this.

And, if you’ve ever given birth, been witness to earthquakes and tornadoes, the feminine is most certainly powerful. I have birthed two babies, and watched each of my daughters give birth, and the power of the feminine is something to behold, something that brings forth complete awe in me.

The feminine is powerful and awe-inducing.

These structures based on fear of the feminine don’t just exist out there, they also exist within each of us. We’ve internalized them. And, we’ve probably internalized some kind of fear and distrust of the masculine as well, the masculine in us all. And, these internal structures are dying, too. Can you feel this inside you?

Can you feel a new feminine consciousness within yourself?

Why is this important today, on International Women’s Day?

A few months back, I met Marianne Williamson at an intimate gathering. She asked what I do, and I told her the varied things that fill my workday. She seemed to take interest in the course I teach on Creativity and Leadership in Business, and asked me what I would say to women about what they need to know around business.

My response? Two things:

“We are not men.” & “There is a different way to do business than what we see operating in our world today.”

We are not men.

We are not men. Even though most everything in the culture looks at the world through men’s eyes, we are not men. Thank goodness there are men, and thank goodness there are women. We all are here to be what we really are.

I am interested in you knowing this, not because I’ve written it, nor because it seems to be an obvious physiological conclusion. I’m interested in it because the new world coming depends on you knowing it.

Let me say that again…

The new world coming into being depends on you knowing who you are and expressing it through the female body you live in.

What I am interested in today is you knowing you, knowing who you are, knowing what delights your heart, knowing what it is to be fully alive in this world in your female body. Alive and erotic just like the cherry tree, just like the ocean, just like Mother Earth.

All of life is this wild eros, including you.

And, we could most certainly all use a shot of wild eros, don’t you think?

In our personal lives, our relationships, and even in our businesses.

Passionate Business

Business budding with blossoms, business giving birth, business erupting and shaking and crashing its waves upon the shores. Business that neither fears the feminine nor the masculine, but works in tandem with all of life…including the earth.

So many times I see women thinking they have to make a mark on the world that is big and audacious. Nothing wrong with that, and that may be how your mark shows up…and, in reality, we affect the world in many small beautiful ways each day. And, sometimes what happens is those many small ways eventually move into big changes along the way.

In a day-to-day, personal way, my friend, Renae Cobb, sees International Women’s Day from her personal vantage point as a mother to two daughters. She writes of not really knowing what this day is about, yet going on to share just how important an impact she has.

On an international level, the Christian Science Monitor writes of Twelve Innovations that are Lifting Women Out of Poverty.

Women are changing the world, everyday. There are many ways to do womanhood. And many ways to do manhood.

What if we found the courage to put down the project of who we believe we are supposed to be, so we can be who we really are, fully alive, powerfully real, wildly erotic in the fullest sense of the word…unabashedly female.

Part of this being truly you is discovering the rich love women have for each other. I’ve just written about it here.

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I’d love to know what ways you are living womanhood. Consider sharing in the comments. We feast on each other’s wisdom.

 

I’ve recently released my new collection of posts, poetry and audio into a sensual immersive experience, The Best of Unabashedly Female. I’d love for you to take a look to see if it might be of interest to you.

 

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