Advertising makes me wonder where we’re going as a culture. To be honest, I don’t watch much TV. I don’t like to shop. I don’t read magazines. When it comes to advertising, I cringe from what I see. I feel outraged. I feel sad. I feel helpless to stop the objectification that continues to occur.
I’ve heard many young women say that they feel empowered because they now have sexual freedom. They equate power with sex. After all, most advertising encourages them to be the sexiest they can be. Everything seems to be about being sexy. Not just beautiful and thin, but sexy, too.
I see woman as beautiful, amazing, and strong. I am amazed by women. And, it makes me sad to think that women don’t see their own sacredness.
What is it to be a powerful woman? Is power only about sex? Maybe in our current cultural milieu it’s the brass ring, but what if true power for women was not about what we give away in order to be wanted, but what we honor and respect within ourselves?
Our sexuality is a powerful force. And, it is a sacred and mysterious force. We are bearers of life. We bring life into life. We are sacredly creative.
I’d love to know what you think about this. What will it take to respect and honor this within ourselves, even in the face of more and more negative advertising?
Namaste: My son Luka tells me sometimes, after I raise my voice at him: " Now, calm down and concentrate..." He is 6. Cracks me right up, and I start laughing, and can not bring myself to continue the tirade 🙂
So, this one’s hard for me. I’ve been sitting here thinking about how little I belly-laugh.
Sure, I watch Seinfeld reruns with Jeff, and we laugh until tears come…at the same old episodes. Like the one where Elaine dances like a freak.
Yes, in my family of origin, including sisters, offspring, their offspring, we completely lose it at holiday gatherings when someone farts. Especially my nephew, but I won’t out him here. Now, my eight year-old grandson is taking up the practice, having been gifted a whoopie cushion from said nephew. This Thanksgiving, when my two sisters and I, our four children, and our growing cluck of grandchildren (up to six now, with five being born in the last thirteen months) made sure we brought the Fart CD so we could regale ourselves, once again, with the pure joy that comes from potty humor.
But, all-in-all, I tend to be pretty serious. I tend to feel things deeply. I tend to write deep poetry and take long walks gazing at the beauty of life. I tend to dance and do yoga with a depth of concentration and intensity. So, when my big belly laugh happened this year, it wasn’t so much as a belly-acher or gut-buster, but it was more about the surprise that came when I could laugh really hard, along with others, at my own expense…in the middle of a hard work-out yoga flow class…taught by one of said sisters (the one that said, “Yes, I’ll take it” when asked if she wanted the ‘wicked-sense-of-humor’ gene just prior to conception. Of course, she is the older sister, so it was already taken by the time I was conceived).
Molly Fox, my sister, is quite the fabulous yoga/nia/pilates teacher. She is well-known on the East Coast for her fitness studio that she had in Manhattan for years in the eighties and early nineties.
It was in her Saturday morning class that my laugh moment of ’09 occurred. It’s not that it was that funny…it was funny to me…and to a class full of yogis. This is what happened.
I was in the front row, as I am wont to do in her classes. We were doing some kind of asana (don’t know the names at all) where we were in a lunge with one knee on the ground. Molly was trying to get the class to lengthen the spine, rising and extending up from the center of the body, lifting the chest from below. She was explaining it, and then to help give people a better sense of what she was talking about, she came over to me, bent down beside me and said to the class, “Here. I’ll show you.” She quickly looked at me to ask if she could touch me, and when I acknowledged yes, she said, “This is my sister, so I can hold onto her breasts. Lift from here.” Of course, she didn’t grab my breasts. She gently held my rib cage and lifted me from deeper within my body. It was incredibly helpful to feel the difference between what I was doing and what she was suggesting.
I suddenly heard everyone break into laughter. I looked in the mirror. I realized I was wearing a pretty low-cut yoga top, and as she held me by the rib cage, being in front of the mirror with my breasts being raised up, much cleavage suddenly appeared front and center within the ‘very’ present awareness of everyone in the room. I didn’t know if they were laughing because of my being her sister, her comment, the sudden influx of cleavage, (couldn’t resist, Kelly) or all of the above, but I began to laugh, too. It all seemed pretty absurd and gloriously un-seriously yoga like. Molly’s classes are the best, ’cause she is so down-to-earth, so in love with her students, so good at what she does, and so damn funny.
Molly loves and respects the practice of yoga to the depth of her being AND she can have fun with it, which, to me, is the sign of a great teacher. Like Luka, the 6-year old son in the image caption at the top, a good teacher brings us back to reality, to the sanity of life that comes from not taking it all too seriously.
It’s here, in this not-too-serious place, that I can sometimes experience the deepest Namaste.
I think laugh will be my verb for 2010.
Maybe my noun will be cleavage, simply loving the cleavage that comes with womanhood. It may be about the cleaving away of what I think being a woman has to be from what I truly discover and experience it to be. Perhaps it might bring a softer, more loving embrace of my womanhood.
Maybe, just maybe, being with it all as it unfolds is the Namaste, the deepest bow, to what is.
What about you? I’d love to know, what makes you laugh? What is your verb for 2010? Your noun? Your ideas for bringing fun, laughter and ease to your world? Your best belly-laugh? Your ’09 cleavage story? Your real-life experience of Namaste?
After I wrote yesterday’s post where I shared about the wonderful connections with women I have made during this year, I felt an urge to celebrate as many of these women in today’s post by thanking as many as I can for the gifts they’ve given me by sharing their personal experiences so vulnerably and beautifully. These women have also shared by coming to my blog, reading and leaving a thank you note to me in the form of a comment – something that lifted me and encouraged me to write with more courage and vulnerability myself.
This is my digital thank you note to you beautiful women. This is my celebration of you!
So, in no particular order at all, here’s to you beautiful women. I celebrate you and your voices of vulnerability and truth!:
If you feel compelled, take a moment to check out these beautiful women and the work they do in the world. It is an honor and pleasure to know each of you. I look forward to our deepening friendship in this coming new decade.
I met a couple of someones in person that I had only known from blogs and or Twitter:
@JonathanFields at his Tribal Author Camp in NYC. Jonathan is all that he seems to be on Twitter and his blog, and even more. His camp was fantastic because he’s a real, straightshooter. He knows his stuff.
@WhiteHotTruth (fiery Danielle La Porte) at my Sunday morning dance in Sausalito. She was out here in California to hold one of her Fire Starter sessions in Oakland. After dancing in the same Sweat Your Prayers meditation for two hours, I finally realized where I knew her from: Twitter. I told her I recognized her from Twitter. We chatted for a moment. Then that was that.
@WildHeartQueen (the lovely Chris Zydel) for lunch after we met at the Oakland Tweetup, just after I joined Twitter. Chris is just as vivacious and lovely as she is in Twitterland. I look forward to more in-person time with her.
Multiple lovely twitteraties at the Oakland Tweetup at @numitea in Alameda, California.
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I did discover Twitter in 2009.
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But, if I were to look back on 2009 to decide which was THE social web moment, it would be hard to pick just one. I have met many wonderful people through social media this year, which has only strengthened my belief in the basic goodness of human beings, and the desire of humans to connect, share and love.
Twitter love is real. Twitter is (not what I had initially anticipated) a place where people genuinely want to discover support, and learn from others, which can go hand-in-hand with networking and marketing your business.
I’ll share just one story that helps to show this. Last week, I saw a tweet about a blog post on the Winter Solstice. I clicked on the link and was taken to the most lovely enticing post about the Solstice, written by a woman I had never heard of: Marjory Mejia. I was so moved by her post, I left a comment on the page and re-tweeted her initial Tweet about the post. In very little time, a matter of minutes, I received a beautiful, heart-felt thank you from Marjory. She expressed such gratitude for my very small acts of support for her work. She genuinely was touched by the words I wrote.
Multiply this story many times, and you have my best social web moment for 2009. I have met many generous people through social media. I have supported them, and in a reciprocity that seems to be the backbone of Twitter, they have supported me ten times that. In fact, @jonathanfields told those of us who attended his tribal author camp to put in 10X what we ever hoped to receive back in to social media, supporting those people we genuinely felt a connection with. I find that no matter how much I feel I give, I always receive so much more.
The most beautiful thing for me is the connection I am making with women who are discovering their voice through writing and blogging, just as I am. A spirit of comraderie and love is present, in a way that I have not experienced for a while. Way back in 2004, I joined the Ryze network, and promptly established a network on Ryze named Wildly Creative Women. There, I met so many wonderful women from around the world.
The Social Web is most definitely a place where women are connecting with each other, witnessing each other as we write from our hearts, and sharing the emerging feminine consciousness.
I want to give another shout out to @gwenbell. Her wonderful challenge has been a catalyst for so many of us to write more, post more and support more. Thank you.
“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.†~ Martha Graham
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I have been teaching creativity courses for over six years now. When I share the above quote from Martha Graham with my students, they sit mesmerized by the idea that there is a force that moves through them in such a way, and that their job is only to keep it theirs, clearly and directly. Their job is only ‘to keep the channel open’.
Now, I have experienced this life force moving through me many a time. Sometimes it is like fire. Sometimes it is fluid, like water. Sometimes, it feels more like a pressure that won’t rest until it is released through some physical form such as dance, yoga or sex. Sometimes this force simply wants to feel the warmth of the sun and the cool wash of a breeze. And, sometimes this force craves words. It just wants words.
I have understood Martha’s quote for sometime now. Over the last few days, though, I finally got it in my cells. I awoke during the night with the rush and clarity of this epiphany: my only job is to serve this force.
It’s not that I didn’t get this intellectually before. It’s what I teach. Up until this time, though, I have thought that my ego mind could outsmart this force. I have believed that the juicy ideas I come up with are somehow the fruits of this force. I could see that surrender was necessary, but somehow (and I know this is what the ego is so good at) I kept thinking I was surrendering.
My epiphany: I have no idea what is going to come out of this body as it writes, as it dances, as it does whatever it does when I do my job and serve this force. But, even though I don’t know, and this not knowing can scare the hell out of me, I now know that it is the only real love, the one truth. I only exist because this force has something to express and experience uniquely through this body.
When I write, and I have been experiencing this more and more as I blog each day, what comes comes. Words flow. They string together in unexpected ways, sometimes coming full circle in ways that delight me with their mysterious surprise.
I see images, sometimes. I write the words that express these images or I write the words that simply flow from my hands. As I write, feeling flows. It comes from someplace deep within. Sometimes it moves me to tears, as if I am reading something another has written. Sometimes, I don’t feel a thing. I hit publish. Others read. Some are moved. Sometimes I am surprised by this. Sometimes, I get it because I was moved. Sometimes, I am moved, but others don’t seem to be. I never know. It is a mystery.
I just know I must write. I just know I crave words. I just know there is beauty between the words.
I just know I crave music and an open floor to dance. I just know I must move. I just know that beauty flows from the dance. I just know the dance dances me, the writing writes me.
Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:Â Day 25 Gift. What’s a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?
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The moment you expect something in return, love dies. ~ Ryuho Okawa
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I love this question, because it guides me back to that which, when remembered, is already giving and is always giving. It is the source of all giving. When we give from this place, we wish nothing in return. It is here that love can flourish.
Remembrance. My soul is always calling me back to remembrance. It is the siren song, the wake-up call of the soul. It compels me, if I’m quiet and listening with my whole body, to remember the love in my heart. It guides me back to the heart, to the innermost heart, back to remembrance of love for the Beloved.
This remembrance of life is the natural spring of gratitude, which flows ceaselessly and endlessly.
This remembrance reminds me to be kind and compassionate to myself, to do no harm to this being, and in so doing, the awareness to be kind and compassionate to others, to do no harm to others, also grows and flourishes.
This remembrance floods all things with love, even those thoughts and beliefs that feel void of love.
Today, on the day of Christmas and gift-giving, when many of us around the world remember Christ, remembrance guides me to remember Christ consciousness (or Buddha, Cosmic, Higher consciousness), the inner heart of being in all of life that radiates qualities of compassion, truthfulness, humility and forgiveness towards all.
The simplicity of remembrance cannot be overstated. It is simple. When rembrance calls you, go with it. Let it carry you back. If the desire is true to remember, remembrance will find you and usher you home.
Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:Â Day 24Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?
Real safety is your willingness to not run away from yourself. ~Pema Chodron
To let go.
To let go of fighting against.
To let go of how I think things should be.
To let go of my need to control others with whom I am in relationship with.
To let go of trying to always figure things out with my crazy-making mind.
To let go of the insane way I am so hard on myself.
To let go of trying to evade the only one who is here. Me.
So here I am with me. Just me.
For a while, now, I have sat with the discomfort of being with me. All the pieces of me I didn’t want to see showed up. I invited them in. They weren’t the best companions. It took all I could do to not run away from those parts of me I had tried to hide away. As we become better roommates, new ones show up, ones that have been down in the deepest recesses of the shadow.
And, when I let go, something quiet, yet strong, was there. All along it had been holding me, just waiting until I let go and turned to look within.
This quiet, compassionate presence is always here. When I turn to look within, it is all that is there. It is the only safety there is.
Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:Â Day 23: Web tool. It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn’t live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.
So this one has me thinking. Don’t use that many new web tools. When I think of what has improved my blogging experience, though, it most definitely is not a web tool, or maybe it is.
I found it on Flickr, and can safely use it thanks to Jeff Marquis and Creative Commons.
My favorite web tool is Creative Commons, a non-profit that has changed the way creativity can be shared and built upon. From Creative Commons site:
Creative Commons is a nonprofit organization
We work to increase the amount of creativity (cultural, educational, and scientific content) in “the commons†— the body of work that is available to the public for free and legal sharing, use, repurposing, and remixing.
CC provides free, easy-to-use legal tools
Our tools give everyone from individual creators to large companies and institutions a simple, standardized way to grant copyright permissions to their creative work. The Creative Commons licenses enable people to easily change their copyright terms from the default of “all rights reserved†to “some rights reserved.â€
Best of 2009 Blog Challenge:Â Day 22: Startup. What’s a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?
“A spirituality that is only private and self-absorbed, one devoid of an authentic political and social consciousness, does little to halt the suicidal juggernaut of history. On the other hand, an activism that is not purified by profound spiritual and psychological self-awareness and rooted in divine truth, wisdom, and compassion will only perpetuate the problem it is trying to solve, however righteous its intentions. When, however, the deepest and most grounded spiritual vision is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing political, economic, and social institutions, a holy force – the power of wisdom and love in action – is born. This force I define as Sacred Activism.” ~ Andrew Harvey
Why is it special? The Institute is bringing to the world Sacred Activism, which is a marriage between Activism, the traditional path to social justice, and the realization that all of life is sacred – ALL of life is sacred.
Sacred Activism is compassionate action, bringing the wisdom, love and connection of the Sacred Feminine back into this world that so desperately needs it.
I have already celebrated the Institute here and here in my blog. But, the Institute, and its founders, also deserve this mention as best startup, because of the sheer amount of dedication, time, energy, tenacity and profound courage it has taken to create this container for growing sacred activists.
I first heard of it in July, so I wasn’t able to attend the first meetings in April and June, but what I learned in September and November, about how to bring my personal vision for a change in the social structre into concrete action, was of immeasurable value.
I learned about changing the structure of the way things are by engaging people with their values, then seeing if their behaviors match these values, from Monica Sharma, Director of Leadership and Capacity Development at OHRLLS, United Nations. She is a powerhouse speaker with a vision that sets you on fire.
Monica’s teachings were invaluable to me, as I deepen my work on helping women (including myself) to heal from the pain of conditioning that teaches us we are not enough, and from the projections that are placed upon us by a culture that fears our power and mystery. The cultural shadow that keeps women believing in their powerlessness is insidious in how it keeps us believing so much negativity about the feminine and females in general. In very practical terms, facilitating this healing can bring a much needed shift to our world.
In November, we had an entire session on the body (global and personal), where we practiced a new form of yoga, Heart Yoga, developed by Karuna Erickson and Andrew Harvey. It is a beautiful form of physical yoga married with visions of the heart. Their new book, Heart Yoga, will be available in May of 2010.
Of course, we were blessed with the fiery passion of Andrew Harvey each day of our trainings. Andrew is passionate about sharing his hope for a different world. If you don’t know this man’s works, check out his lengthy list of creations.
Simply coming together with people from all over the country who are committed to sacred action created a wonderful community to draw upon was a powerful affirmation of the widespread desire of so many Americans who hold a vision for life in our world to be very different than what we see today.
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If this interests you, the Institute will be holding more teaching days in 2010. Also, check out Andrew’s call to create Networks of Grace. As Andrew writes, we have very little time…
“The one hope for the future lies, I believe, in Sacred Activism – the fusion of the deepest spiritual knowledge and passion with clear, wise, radical action in all the arenas of the world, inner and outer.
We have very little time in which to awaken and transform ourselves, to be able to preserve the planet, and to heal the divisions between the powerful and the powerless.
Let us go forward now with firm resolve and profound dedication.” ~ Andrew Harvey
This year, I began again to write the book I stopped writing five years ago. I stopped writing it when I realized I still had to live much of what the book was to be about. I put it down. It was not time.
Since then, many things have transpired. Life has been full of many twists and turns. My mother was diagnosed with cancer. After a two-year journey with cancer, she passed away last year. My two daughters have given birth to two new grandchildren. And, as I look back, I now can see I have lived into the book. The book is so ready to be born.
This is my project. And, the funny thing is, part of the book has to do with realizing that we must, as women, put down ‘the project’ – that project that keeps us on the never-ending treadmill of trying to be better, more beautiful, sexier, younger, thinner, more perfect, more successful, more fill-in-the-blank if we are to discover who and what we really are underneath all the beliefs that we aren’t enough. I call it ‘the project’. So, when I read Gwen’s prompt, I chuckled at the irony, at least for me.
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“Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved. She is the Creator —you could say that she is not created.†~Rumi
When we put down that project of not being enough, something that has always been within begins to move and stir and reawaken.
I am excited to birth this book, and to begin to teach the course that is directly intertwined with it. It has to do with women’s creativity, with the life-giving mystery that is within you, and within every woman, and how you and I and all women can awaken, and step into, this natural power, a power that is serves all of life.
